The Mission Briefing 2015: Operation Declassified!
by Papa Bear Awards
Summary: The truth is coming out at last... but not without some hiccups for the team and the Papa Bear Awards!
1. A Fairy-Tale Come True

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**Papa Bear Awards 2015:**

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**OPERATION DECLASSIFIED!**

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"_... and our breaking news this morning: recently declassified files in Washington indicate that the controversial World War Two TV-show from the sixties 'Hogan's Heroes' was actually based on a real life espionage unit stationed in the heart of Germany at the time. Stay tuned to the Washington News Network for all the details."_

One of those intrusive advertising voices took over, and Meghan buried her head deeper in her pillow. It was beyond her why her friend, cousin and room-mate always turned on the news channel the moment she got up. It was bearable as long as they both had to get up. But on New Year's Day, after a party that lasted into the early hours of morning? Couldn't she for once start the day without knowing what had...

Suddenly the newslady's announcement penetrated her foggy brain and she sat up with a jerk. "Katie!"

"What?" Katie was in the process of making tea.

"What that newswoman said..." Meghan seemed almost dazed.

Katie raised her eyebrows. "Yeah?"

"Didn't you _hear_?"

"I wasn't really listening, no."

She got an exasperated glare, but Meghan had other things on her mind right now than an accusing, _"Then why do you insist on turning it on every morning if you're not listening anyway?"_ Instead, she gushed, "It's Hogan's Heroes – _Grandpa's_ Heroes! It's true!"

"What?!" Katie's head swivelled towards the TV set, but there was only some silly ad for toiletpaper on. "But... didn't they always say...?"

"Exactly." Meghan put on her robe and plonked down in front of the TV. "So let's find out."

* * *

It was still several minutes before the annoying advertising people made way for the regular news programme again – minutes Katie used to provide them both with a fortifying mug of tea. But at last, the deep, euphonious male voice cut into the advertising nonsense with his standard announcement, _"The Washington News Network – the Truth, Brought to You."_ There was a short blast of trumpets, and then the anchorlady of the programme came on screen.

"_Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, and happy 2015,"_ she smiled. _"And we start the new year with a remarkable story: a fairy-tale that suddenly turns out to be reality: the sixties' TV-show 'Hogan's Heroes'..."_

The screen cut to the boisterous opening tune with its familiar images of barbed wire in the moonlight, stern guards operating a searchlight and prisoners lined up in front of wooden barracks.

"_Hogan's Heroes,"_ the lady intoned, _"Was the first comedy to be made based on World War Two. It followed the adventures of an international group of prisoners-of-war in a POW-camp in Nazi Germany, where they operated a sabotage and espionage unit right under the nose of their captors, and helped hundreds of shot-down flyers to escape back to England to rejoin the fight. From the start, the show has been rather controversial, with people pointing out that it was in bad taste to portray the Nazis as stupid fools, and make light of such a horrid war. _

_Seventy years after the war ended, and fifty years after the popular TV-show first aired, the army has now declassified a number of files that surprisingly prove that Colonel Hogan's little band of saboteurs was not the product of some crazy Hollywood producer. No – Colonel Robert E. Hogan and his band of saboteurs were for real!"_

Katie and Meghan looked at each other in triumph.

"Told you!" Meghan said.

Meanwhile, the TV was showing some army big shot on a press conference. _"The rules state, that information about secret operations in war time need to remain classified for at least seventy years, to avoid any chance of repercussion on the people involved,"_ the man rasped. _"Considering that all the protagonists and antagonists involved in this operation have passed away by now, the army has decided to bring the facts about this little undercover unit in the open, so that their families may finally know that their loved ones were not cowed prisoners who never managed a single successful escape – no, instead they were ordered to stay put in that camp, in order to keep a valuable Allied espionage unit alive." _The man took a deep breath._ "Colonel Robert E. Hogan from Bridgeport, Connecticut, together with Staff Sergeant James I. Kinchloe, Tech Sergeant Andrew J. Carter, Sergeant Richard G. Baker, the British Corporal Peter Newkirk and the French resistance fighter Louis LeBeau formed the core of a highly successful sabotage and espionage unit in the heart of the Third Reich. Posing as prisoners-of-war, they were under direct orders from Allied Headquarters in London, and committed numerous acts of sabotage and espionage right under the nose of their Nazi jailors. Additionally, they ran what they called 'a travellers' aid society', in outfitting escapees and downed flyers with everything they needed to make a successful escape back to England. In order to protect the set-up, they and their fellow POWs in the camp were ordered to stay put and never escape themselves. Due to the highly sensitive nature of their work, this smokescreen had to be kept up even after the war ended, to protect the core group from reprisals. We imagine this has been difficult with their families, but the truth is, that every man who was ever held prisoner in Stalag 13 played a part in this successful unit. We have always been extremely proud of these men, and we hope that finally, their families may feel the same."_

"_General,"_ came a question from the audience. _"If this operation was so hush-hush, why didn't you stop it when they wanted to make TV-show out of it?"_

"_Good question,"_ the big shot nodded. _"The fact is, that one of the people behind the TV-show had a personal connection with Stalag 13. So he was sworn to secrecy as much as anyone else. When they came to us to ask permission to produce this show based on the goings-on in a prison camp – an idea that originally had been born without any reference to Stalag 13 – we granted them that permission on one condition: that the show would be so over the top that no one would believe it to be true. And considering that no one indeed took the show seriously, they have done that admirably indeed."_

"_But why did you give them that permission, when the people involved with the real Stalag 13 were still not allowed to talk about their experiences?"_ the journalist insisted.

"_Humanity,"_ the general admitted. _"These guys had sacrificed so much – over the top or not, the show was meant to recognize their contribution, even if we could not say so out loud."_

The image went back to the newsroom. _"With me here,"_ the newslady said, _"Is Mr. Robert J. Hogan – son of the illustrious commander of this secret unit. Mr. Hogan, what was your reaction when you first heard the news?"_

"That's uncle Rob!" Katie shouted, and moved a bit closer to the TV.

"_Well, I can't say I was surprised,"_ the grey-haired man on TV said with a bit of a smirk. _"Whenever we kids asked about the prison camp, he was always regaling us with stories how they tricked the guards and the Kommandant. But anyone knowing my father could have known that this was just the top of the iceberg."_

"_So your father talked openly about his experiences in the camp?"_

"_That's how it seemed,"_ Uncle Rob pointed out. _"But hearing all this, he must have held back an awful lot. They probably thought that would be the easiest strategy to keep their sworn secrecy."_

The newslady raised an eyebrow. _"They?"_

"_Yes, my father and the men working with him at the time - these guys the general mentioned. They remained close friends all their lives, and tried to meet up at least every few years. We never really thought much of it – they were just Dad's buddies from the prison camp. But looking back, there were hints indeed that they were more than just casual buddies. More like people who'd been through a lot together."_

"_Do you look at your father differently now that you know what he did in the war?"_

Uncle Rob seemed to consider that, but shook his head. _"No. Not really. He's done an awful lot in his life that would get anyone's admiration. This news is just a bonus package on top of everything else. And I wouldn't be surprised if the family of his friends feel just the same."_

"_Thank you, Mr. Hogan."_ The newslady turned back to her audience. _"One thing is for sure," she said. "People will be watching the TV-show Hogan's Heroes with completely new eyes. If, as the general says, it shows us just an over-the-top version of what really happened, then what was it that really happened? Stay tuned for a thorough analysis of one of the episodes by a renowned military specialist."_

"So!" Meghan declared. "Are we going to sit here and watch that, or are we going to do our own research?"

"What research?" Katie asked.

Meghan rolled her eyes. "You heard the man – it was all for real! And it's been declassified! Aren't you the least bit curious what our greatgrandfathers were up to at the time? Let's find out!"

"How?"

"By doing what we should have done ages ago when we first read about it." Meghan got up and started to get dressed. "We're going to the National Museum and find that file with all the documents that they had in the Mary Sue Experiments."

Katie frowned. "I don't think I want to be whisked back in time by that magic device."

"Neither do I. But that doesn't mean we can't look at the other things in that file. Besides – the last we heard, the device was safely elsewhere. So are you coming or not? We can grab some breakfast on the way."

"Okay." Katie sighed. "For the honour of our greatgrandfathers then..."

* * *

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_Author's note: Stay tuned – the nomination round for the 2015 Papa Bear Awards election is likely to kick off within 24 hours!_


	2. A Visit to the Museum

It wasn't long before they headed off the campus grounds, got a doughnut and a cup of cheap coffee in some sidewalk café, and headed towards the nearest Underground stop.

"Hey, look!" Katie was checking her messages on her smartphone while they were walking. "They've already got the first intro to the PBA up. That's going to be fun. You know, we really should post our stories there, too. I'd like to have the extra excitement of having own work out there in the election."

"Maybe next year," Meghan mumbled with her mouth full. "Now that we know it's all real, you bet we can write even better stories. After all, we've got inside information, haven't we."

"Pity we never got to meet the great Colonel Hogan ourselves though. Why did he have to die so young?"

Meghan smirked. "Hey, he was nearly 90 when he died. Or something like that. But I would have liked to meet him and talk to him, yes. Especially now that his work has been declassified. Think of the inside info we could have gotten from him – our own greatgrandfather!"

"Actually, I have met my other greatgrandfather. There's a picture of it. But I was only like one or two years old when he died."

Meghan sighed. "Same here. But I wonder how much Uncle Rob knows. Or our own grandparents."

A shrug. "You heard what he said. But it'd be fun nonetheless even to hear those stories about fooling the guards."

"Maybe we can get them to watch the show with us, and see what they remember. You never know what it might trigger in the unconscious mind."

"Good plan." With that, Meghan and Katie headed into the tunnels of the Underground. It was surprisingly busy, even for New Year's Day, and they were glad to get out again at the stop near the National Museum. They threw their empty coffee mugs in the trash together with the remains of the not so tasty doughnuts, and went up the monumental stairs to the National Museum.

"I'll do the talking, okay?" Meghan decided. And in they went, to find the information desk.

"Good morning," Meghan started off. "And happy new year."

"My, you're in early," the lady behind the desk smiled. "Well, what can I do for you?"

"Our greatgrandfather was in the army during World War Two, and as students of history, we'd like to see the file on his exploits. For the research for our dissertation. We've been told it's file number 087 67 07."

Surprisingly, the lady's eyebrows shut up to her hairline. "Did you say _087 67 07_?!"

Katie and Meghan looked at each other. "Yes. That's the one. Is there a problem?"

The lady gulped. "Well... maybe. Are you absolutely certain that this is the file you need? You didn't get the digits mixed up?"

"No." Meghan looked a little miffed. "Of course we didn't get the digits mixed up. When we say we need file 087 67 07, then it's file 087 67 07 that we need!"

"Oh... well..." The lady hesitated. "If you just wait a moment, I'll fetch you all the necessary paperwork."

"And the file," Katie insisted.

"Yes. And the file." Another gulp, and the lady disappeared behind a door.

"Absolutely paranoid," Meghan proclaimed. "And that all because of a bunch of silly fanfic authors who haunted this place years ago. Surely they don't expect us to...?"

But there was the lady back. "If you please fill out these forms. And then read through this disclaimer and if you agree, sign at the bottom?"

It was Katie's turn to raise her eyebrows. "Just to get a look at a file?"

"Yes." The woman looked away. "If you insist on seeing this file, then this paperwork has to be filled out. Museum policy."

"Oh well." The two girls dug out a pen each and started filling out the form: name, address, phone number, next of kin... Next of kin? Oh well, why not. And signed at the bottom.

"Did you read it?" the lady pressed.

"Yes, yes. We just agreed that we're requesting to see this file at our own risk, and the Museum can in no way be held responsible for whatever consequences may occur." Meghan handed her the papers. "Now can we please see that file? I promise we won't eat it."

The lady pulled out a heavy box from under the counter. It didn't look like much, but she seemed quite unwilling to hand it over.

"May we...?" Meghan prompted.

And with a sigh, the box finally placed in her hands. "But please, choose a table where I can keep an eye on you!" the lady urged.

"Sure." And the two girls sauntered off with their treasure to one of the tables in the center of the room.

"Now let's see," Meghan said as she carefully opened the box, with their backs turned to the staring lady at the information desk. "There's a lot of paperwork in there. Maybe Colonel Hogan's own report? Let's look at that first."

They pulled out the papers. There was actually an old yellowed photo on top – of five men in front of a rickety wooden barracks.

"That must be Colonel Hogan," Katie pointed out. "And this must be my other greatgrandfather James Kinchloe."

"And going by the pictures, I guess this is my greatgrandfather Carter."

"And the little one of course must be LeBeau, and the one in blue must be Newkirk. You know, they cast them pretty well on the show, didn't they – they really look alike!"

"Yeah..." Meghan had already opened the bulging folder with papers. And chuckled. "Look – there is even the report on the Mary Sue Experiments. No wonder that folder is bulging."

"You mean Colonel Hogan wrote a report on that?"

"Must have." Meghan shrugged. "Why else would it be in here?"

"I thought maybe the CIA people put it there, once they had debriefed those authors. Or something."

"Whatever." Meghan leafed through the stack of papers, recognizing the crazy events as she scanned the pages. But Katie quickly lost interest, and started to explore the other items in the box. There was a chip of goldpainted brick in there. A disconnected listening device. A wooden spoon. A thumbed deck of cards. A bunny made out of heavy dark grey clay. A little box with a note in red saying, "Keep out! Do not open!"

She grinned. "Look. I wonder what's in there. I thought the whole thing was supposed to be declassified?"

Meghan glanced over, and shared her grin. "Maybe a note like that works on men, but not on us inquisitive women, right? Let's open it. If they really didn't want people to see it, they would have locked it up elsewhere."

But opening that box was easier said than done. The snap was both finicky and stuck, and it took a lot of determined fiddling to get it to snap open – and open it did!

"Watch out!"

They both reached out to grab the item flying through the air, to prevent it from falling on the ground or on the table and get damaged... when suddenly a quickly fading shriek penetrated the chaos, and the next thing they knew, everything was black.

Or... black?

"Erm... hello?" Meghan called out hesitantly. "Anybody there?"

"Maybe there was a sudden black-out?" Katie shivered.

"In the middle of the day? There was lots of daylight in that room," Meghan scoffed.

"Then maybe..." Katie felt herself turn even paler. "Maybe a terrorist plane crashed on top of the Museum..."

Meghan sighed. "Now why would they want to destroy a museum..."

"Well, if they were aiming for the White House, and..."

"Who was aiming for the White House?"

The girls spun around to face that unexpected voice. In the dark light, but a few yards away from them, stood... "Grandpa?!"

Kinch raised his eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

"Well, not yet," Meghan babbled nervously. "But later, you're going to be her grandfather. Or rather greatgrandfather. And we're both..."

"Nuts," another voice cut in. "Look, Governor. There's another pair of them. And I had so hoped this folly would be over by now."

The man addressed was doubtlessly the great Colonel Hogan: the dark leather jacket, the brown crush cap, the piercing stare, the face that resembled Uncle Rob's so much...

Katie gulped. "We're sorry. We didn't mean to drop by. It was an accident... I think."

The Colonel sighed. "Alright, spill it. Who are you, and where are you from?"

Meghan took a deep breath. "My name is Meghan Lewis, and this is Katie Hogan. We're from 2015. And we're... sort of... your greatgrandchildren."

Newkirk's jaw dropped. "Well have I ever...! Blimey, Colonel, have you got some pretty offspring!" He stepped forward and held out his hand. "Welcome! Peter Newkirk is the name."

"Yeah, we know." Meghan sighed.

"You do?"

"Yeah. You see, there's this TV-show from the sixties that was sort of based on your operation – only a fair bit over the top to make sure no one would believe it, in order to keep the secrecy. But now they've declassified all of that, and..."

"Declassified?" The Colonel jumped on that. "When is that?"

"Um... in 2015," a bashful Katie answered.

"That's why we were at the museum – to check out if any new files had been added to the folder," Meghan supplied. "And then..."

"Let me guess." Hogan sighed. "You found some mysterious thingamajig, and before you knew what happened, you found yourselves down here in some strange tunnel."

"Well, not quite," Meghan corrected him. "There was this little box that we tried to open, and then something fell out and we tried to catch it before it fell. I never really got to see what it was. Did you?" she turned to Katie.

But Katie, too, shook her head.

"Must have been the bloody time travel device," Newkirk muttered.

"So how do we get back?" Meghan asked. "I believe you guys have your own version of the thing, right?"

"No, we don't. It's being kept safely in London," Colonel Hogan trashed their hopes. "We can't risk the Krauts getting their hands on it again. Besides, it had been rather quiet in Mary Sue Land lately, so..." A sigh. "So what are we going to do with you until London gets a plane through?"

"You know, Colonel," Kinch spoke up quietly. "Maybe they could lend us a hand with the Papa Bear Awards."

The girls looked at each other. "The Papa Bear Awards? You mean you know what that is?"

"Of course we do. We participate every year," Hogan said. "Well, it seems like as good an idea as any. Kinch, has London called in yet with all the info?"

"Negative, sir. I was down here waiting for their call when I heard these two intruders in the tunnels."

"Right. Then you two stay with Kinch. He'll tell you what to do." He gave them a stern frown. "And no monkey business, understood, ladies?"

"Yes, sir," the girls mumbled demurely.

"Good. Then let's get back to the radio room. London is likely to call in any moment now to schedule the drop of the stories. I want you two on hand to help distribute them among the men."

Indeed, they didn't have to wait long.

"_Goldilocks calling Papa Bear. Come in, Papa Bear."_

Meghan nudged Katie, and they exchanged an excited glance. It was real – really real! And they were witnessing it up close!

"Papa Bear here, Goldilocks. Go ahead," Kinch meanwhile said in the mike.

"_Package will be dropped at Y 14, 2300 hours. __**Deadline: February 13**__**th**__. Please acknowledge."_

"Y 14, 2300 hours, deadline February 13th."

"_Affirmative. Did you find any help to organize the whole thing?"_

"Yes, sir. In fact, they just dropped in on us."

"_Good. Well, enjoy! And make sure you get your nominations in on time."_

"Wilco. Over and out."

An eager Meghan looked up at the Colonel. "Can we come along to pick up that package? Please?"

"No!" was the emphatic reply in Dolby Surround.

* * *

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_Author's note: While the guys have to go out and brave the dangers of Nazi patrols to retrieve their package with 91 stories to choose from, you can stay right in front of your computer to find all you need to know about this year's Papa Bear Awards! Just go on to the next chapter!_


	3. The PBA for Beginners

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**The PBA for Beginners**

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The Papa Bear Awards is an annual game in which we elect the very best work in Hogan's Heroes fanfiction from the past year. It usually takes place between January and April, and has been around for several years – I believe since 2003.

We have several story categories, but we also elect the best portrayal of characters, the best quotes and the best teasers. Categories and rules have varied a bit over the years, but the basic idea has been the same: to elect and honour quality in Hogan's Heroes fanfiction.

The election process starts with a nominating round. Every HH fanfic author and every HH fanfic reader may nominate his favourites – this year 1 favourite in each category. It's not necessary to have read every story before you nominate – you can just nominate the best from among the stories you've read. And every nomination counts: one nomination is sufficient to continue to the voting round. (Only the most prestigious category "best story of 2014" works a bit different – more about that once we start the game in January.)

When all the nominations are in, they get published. Especially when there are so many stories to choose from as these past years, you may regard it as a very great honour to have your work nominated out of so many others!

Once the nominations are published, the voting round begins. In this round, everyone has 3 votes in each category. But we do ask that you try and read everything nominated in a category before making your decision in that category – for how can you make a well considered decision if you're not acquainted with all the good stuff that others nominated? Regularly, you'll discover some real gems among the nominated work that you had missed during the year!

Of course it's not obligatory to participate in every category. If you are pressed for time, or if for example you don't like a certain category, you can just skip entire categories. As a matter of fact, the whole PBA is not obligatory at all. You can even choose to lurk in the dark, just having your stories out there and see what others think of it!

However, you don't have to feel obliged to stay away from nominating and voting just because you have stories participating this year. The majority of the nominators and voters in the PBA are in this position. As long as you can make an honest decision as to which story is best (and it may not always be your own), you are very welcome to participate. And rest assured: in order to prevent authors from shamelessly promoting their own work, we have a strict rule that authors cannot nominate their own work. Still, if someone else has nominated your work, you are indeed allowed to vote for it in the voting round :-)

Once all the votes are in, they will be tabulated. And the three winners in each category will be awarded a gold, a silver and a bronze Papa Bear Award. (Don't get your hopes up; it's nothing fancy – just a computer made pdf or jpg file :-) And of course the winners will get published in the next edition of The Stalag 13 Gazette here on the site!

* * *

And a few things to keep in mind:

The Papa Bear Awards are just a game.  
It's not a matter of life or death to win a Papa Bear Award.

Winning a Papa Bear Award will not grant you global fame.  
But it sure does feel good to know that your fellow HH authors appreciate your writing!

Participating in the Papa Bear Awards is free of charge.  
You won't win a million dollars with it either.

All HH stories that were completed during 2014 are in the PBA election by default.  
So you don't have to register to have them participate.  
(But feel free to tell us if you'd rather not have them participate.)

There is no reason to withdraw your work just because you feel shy.  
Let others be the judge of your writing  
And you might just be surprised at their opinion.  
FYI: every year, there is a fair number of new authors who win awards.  
Even gold awards!

The number of votes in the voting round are not made public.  
Thus if your story got nominated, but doesn't get any votes in the voting round  
You'll never know.  
Nor will anybody else.  
So no embarrassment.

With so many stories out there as this year  
It really is a great honour to get your work nominated out of so many others.  
Even if you don't win an award.

And if you don't get anything nominated  
Look around at the fierce competition and you'll know there's no reason to feel bad.  
Just concentrate on the positive reviews you got for your work  
And don't be discouraged: keep writing!

There is no reason to suddenly hurry your stories to an end.  
It's fairly certain that there will be another PBA next year for you to participate in.

The Papa Bear Awards is an election of the best fanfiction work.  
It's about the quality of writing.  
It's not a contest to see who has the most friends.

If you'd like to check out the winners of the earlier editions of the PBA  
You can find links to them in the Communities here on ffnet.  
Just click on the "Communities" link in the top righthand corner of the main HH story page.

The Papa Bear Awards are organized by HH fanfic authors and readers just like you.  
We dedicate a lot of time to it  
And have a lot of fun doing it  
But we don't make any money with it.

And remember:

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask!

We're only a PM or an email away!


	4. Going through the Catalogue

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**List of This Year's Categories**

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A little overview of this year's categories,  
with links to the lists of their eligible stories:

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**Best story of 2014  
**The ultimate honour!  
_(Note: slash and crossover stories are not eligible here)_

_._

**Best snapshot  
**The best story told in less than 1,000 words!

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**Best short story  
**(3 categories: **short comedy, short drama, short general story**)  
The best stories told in 1000 – 5000 words!

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**Best long story  
**(only 1 category this year!)  
The best stories that took more than 5000 words to tell!

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**Best story based on an actual episode of the series**

**.**

**Best story based on a challenge**

**.**

**Most unique story**  
A story with a unique plot twist, unusual writing style,  
or one that is simply just strange and different and… well… unique!  
You've never read anything like it!

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**Best poem, filk or songfic **

**.**

**Best crossover story**

**.**

**Best slash story  
**_Note: due to their small number, the slash stories will not participate in the nominating round this year._  
_Instead, they will all go straight to the voting round, where you can pronounce your judgement._

_._

**Best portrayal of a canon character  
**Who portrays the main Hogan's Heroes characters best?  
This is where you nominate the best portrayal of  
Hogan, Klink, Schultz, LeBeau, Newkirk, Kinch, Carter, Burkhalter and Hochstetter.

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**Best portrayal of a canon extra  
**Best character performance from any other regular or guest character who originates from the original TV-show,  
ranging from semi main cast member Baker to the merely mentioned Nimrod,  
from Frau Linkmeyer to Freddy,  
and from the sergeant of the motorpool to the guy on the back bunk in barracks 2.

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**Best original character  
**Best original (new) character created for a story that you would have enjoyed seeing in the actual TV-show.

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**Best portrayal of a visiting crossover character  
**We're trying out a new category:  
Best portrayal of a character from another show in a Hogan's Heroes crossover.  
This can be interpreted both as 'portraying the character like s/he is in his/her own show'  
and as 'portraying a character in such a way that even someone who doesn't know the show where s/he comes from  
can see him/her as an understandable and well-developed character.

.

**Best teaser**  
The most tickling teaser or summary that makes you want to read the story right away!

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**The best quotes**  
Here you may nominate 3.  
The most interesting (funniest or moving or silly or so very true or...) line or lines you've come across this year.  
But: – keep it short (in dialogue max statement - reply - reaction; in descriptive text max three lines (e.g. from capital to period))  
– and make sure it makes sense even outside its context.

.

* * *

**Closing date for nominations: **

_**February 13th, 2015**_


	5. Playing by the Rules

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The rules in the game of

**THE PAPA BEAR AWARDS 2015**

Now accepting nominations for the stories completed in 2014!

* * *

**Basic rule this year: nominate 1, vote for 3!**

So you may nominate 1 favourite in each category. Yes, only 1 this year!

The only exception is the category for *best quote* - there you may still nominate 3.

* * *

– You may nominate a story only once in the story categories . So if story A is both hilarious and unique, you´ll have to take your pick where you think it would do best: the comedy section or the most unique category. You cannot nominate the story in both categories.

_Question: if I nominate my favourite story in (for example) the comedy section, can I still nominate characters, quotes and teasers from that story?_

_Answer: Yes, you can. The restriction of one nomination per story applies __only__ to the story categories (e.g. drama, comedy, general, snapshot, challenge, episode, unique, poetry, slash and crossover). If you like, you could even nominate the teaser and all your quotes and characters from one single story. However, with so many stories to choose from... _:-)

_Question:__ My favourite story is listed as drama, but I would like to nominate it in the general category. Can I do that?_

_Answer:__ Yes, you can. Drama, comedy and general stories are up to you to decide in which of those three categories you think they would fit best. However, snapshots, poetry, crossovers and slash should be nominated in their own respective categories, and the stories that are eligible for the categories episode and challenge are given. _

* * *

\- The nomination for *best story of 2014* works a little different. You may nominate 1 story there – the very very best! However, it depends on the overall number of nominations the story receives whether or not it will go to the voting round for *best story of 2014*. See FAQ.

Only in this category are you allowed to nominate a story you have nominated elsewhere as well (for example in best drama or based on an episode).

Mind you, crossover stories and slash stories are not eligible for *best story of 2014*.

* * *

– The best quote: this is the only category where you may nominate 3! But there are two strict rules to go by:

1) keep it short (in dialogue max statement - reply - reaction; in descriptive text max 3 lines (e.g. from capital to period)

2) it must make sense even outside its context.

Failing these two basic rules, the nomination will be refused. If there is still time, the nominator may send in another quote instead.

* * *

– You are free to skip nominating/voting in categories you're not interested in.

– No nominations of your own work in any category! Once your work has been nominated by someone else, you will be allowed to vote for it in the second round. But _nominating_ your own work is VERBOTEN.

* * *

– Nominations have to be signed with your name, your email address and – if you have one – your ffnet pen name. The honour system applies!

– Nominations have to be in no later than **Friday, February 13th, 2015**, and the only way to send them in is by ffnet PM to Papa Bear Awards, or by email to papabearawards at yahoo dot com.

* * *

\- In case a story gets nominated in more than 2 story categories (not counting the *best story of 2014*), the author will be contacted to decide in which story categories this story will be competing in the voting round. If the author does not reply with a decision within a week, the PBA committee will make the decision instead.

\- Continued from last year: the categories for short and long drama, comedy and general stories are going to be exclusive. This means a story can only compete in *either* drama, *or* comedy, *or* general story. In case the nominators don't agree on where the story belongs, the author will be asked to choose in which category this story will be competing. If the author does not reply with a decision within a week, the PBA committee will make the decision instead.

Note: a story going to the voting round in both drama and comedy, or comedy and general, or general and drama is hereby no longer permitted. There is however no problem with combinations like drama/challenge, comedy/unique and general/episode.

– The list of nominees in each category will be published in the days following, and from there on, people will have approximately six weeks to cast their vote: 3 votes in each category. In that round, authors will be allowed to vote for their own work – once someone else has nominated it. This will be explained in more detail when the time has come.

* * *

– And a little reading guide: there is no need whatsoever to have read every story before sending in your nominations! Of course it's laudable to try and read all the stories before making your choice, but for many of us, it's hardly realistic considering the demands of real life.

If you don't have the time to read all the stories before the nomination deadline, just pick out the stories you remember that made a real impression on you, and that in your opinion deserve to go on to the final round. Unless of course you already read them all as soon as they were published. :-)

* * *

– And remember: the purpose of the Papa Bear Awards is to seek out and honour quality writing. It's not a social contest to see who has the most friends!

* * *

– A complete overview of the stories and the categories they've been assigned to can be found on the PBA homepage. They are listed there by category, by word count, and in alphabetical order, with a direct link to each and every one of them.  
Homepage: **www. konarciq dotnet / fanfiction / PapaBearAwards / index. html**  
(translate to internet speak and take out the spaces)

* * *

– Note: if you know of any stories missing (perhaps outside ffnet?), please contact us as soon as possible to correct the matter!

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to contact us at papabearawards at yahoo dot com.

* * *

**Closing date for nominations: **

_**February 13th, 2015**_


	6. A Million Questions

.

**FAQ**

.

**Q: What is the purpose of the Papa Bear Awards?**

A: The purpose of the Papa Bear Awards is to seek out and give recognition to quality writing, and to acquaint fellow authors and readers with the best work in the fandom of Hogan's Heroes.

* * *

**Q: How does the PBA work?**

A: First the authors and readers of Hogan's Heroes fanfiction nominate the works completed during 2014 that they consider to be of outstanding quality. All the nominated work goes to the voting round*, in which both authors and readers decide which works are really the very, very best of this past year.  
* An exception is the category *best story of 2014*. See _Q: How does the nomination for *best story of 2014* work?_

* * *

**Q: How do I know which stories are eligible?**

A:You can find the complete listings on the PBA website:  
**www. konarciq dotnet / fanfiction / PapaBearAwards / index. html**  
(translate to internet speak and take out the spaces)

* * *

**Q: Where do I send my nominations and votes?**

A: You can send them by email to papabearawards at yahoo dot com, alternatively to Papa Bear Awards by ffnet PM.

* * *

**Q: What exactly are those word counts?**

A: Snapshots are stories of less than 1,000 words.  
Short stories (comedy, drama, general) are between 1,000 and 5,000 words.  
Long stories (comedy, drama, general) are those that have more than 5,000 words.  
The other story categories do not have a division by word count.

* * *

**Q: This story has 5100 words. Can I nominate it for short story? **

A: No, you can't. The division by word count in the categories drama, comedy, general and snapshot is very strict. No exceptions!

* * *

**Q: This poem has only 400 words. Can I nominate it as a snapshot?**

A: You could, but due to their special character, poems, filks and songfics should preferably be nominated in their own category, where they compete with works of a similar kind. PBA history has shown that they tend to stand little or no chance in 'normal' story categories. Unless of course you think it to be of such outstanding quality that it merits being nominated as *best story of 2014*!

* * *

**Q: Where do I nominate a story that is listed as (for example) friendship/hurt-comfort? There is** **no category for those!**

A: When there is no clear category assignment, the author has left the choice entirely up to you. So you may decide for yourself whether you think it would fit best as comedy, drama, general, unique etc.

* * *

**Q: My favourite story has been assigned to drama, but I would like to nominate it in the general** **category. Can I do that?**

A:Yes, you can. Only crossovers and slash stories should be kept within their own category – simply because of their very different nature, their limited audience, and because practice has shown that they don't really stand a chance elsewhere. For the others, the choice is pretty much up to you – although it's advisable to keep the poetry in its own category as well. But for the rest, the given genres of drama, humor, general, family, adventure etc are merely a guideline to help you find your way.  
Note: we're running a test this year, with having one slash story eligible in the episode category and one crossover story eligible in the challenge category. Their eligibility there is certainly legit; we'll wait and see how they perform there!

* * *

**Q: I notice that some of the eligible stories on the list are not marked *complete* on ffnet. How come they are in anyway?**

A: Some authors have reported trouble: ffnet wouldn't let them mark their story or stories as complete. Rest assured that the stories on the list that are not marked as *complete* on ffnet have been double checked with the authors, and are indeed supposed to be complete!

* * *

**Q: It says the story **_**Enough is Enough**_** only got completed on January 1****st**** 2015! How come it got into the PBA this year?**

A: Ffnet was having problems around new year's eve, and kept "hiding" newly uploaded chapters for some reason. The author kept trying to reupload the last chapter in order to get it shown properly. However, members of the PBA staff have seen it uploaded in complete form before the turn of the year, and the first reviews for the final chapter clearly show that the story was already uploaded in complete form before the turn of the year. That's why we decided to keep it in, even if the "official" upload date says otherwise.

* * *

**Q: What happened to the slash category?**

A: The number of slash stories is so small this year, that the PBA committee has decided to let them all go straight to the voting round. So there will be no nominating slash stories this year, but they will participate in the voting round.

* * *

**Q: This story is listed as comedy, general, challenge and episode. That's great! Can I nominate this same story in all four of those categories?**

A: No, you can't. You may nominate one and the same story in only 1 story category. So if you nominate story A in the challenge category, you cannot nominate that same story in episode, general and comedy as well. You need to pick one!  
The only category where you may nominate the same story for a second time is the category *best story of 2014*. See below for explanation.

* * *

**Q: If I nominate my favourite story in (for example) the comedy section, can I still nominate characters, quotes and teasers from that story?**

A: Yes, you can. The restriction of one nomination per story applies only to the story categories (e.g. drama, comedy, general, snapshot, challenge, episode, unique, poetry and crossover). If you like, you could even nominate the teaser and all your quotes and characters from one single story. However, with so many stories to choose from... :-)

* * *

**Q: I have a story participating in the PBA this year. Is it okay for me to participate in the nominating and voting?**

A: Yes, you are very welcome to participate in the nominating and voting. In fact, most people participating have eligible stories out there. Just make sure you don't nominate your own work!

* * *

**Q: How do I nominate my favourite story? **

A: You check the PBA homepage (see address above) to see which stories are eligible this year. Once you've made your decision about what you want to nominate in which category, you can send an email listing your nominations to papabearawards at yahoo dot com. If you want to be sure you include all the necessary information, you can use the template (see next chapter).

* * *

**Q: Do I have to read all the stories before I decide on my nominations?**

A: No, you don't. Of course it's laudable to try and read all the stories before making your choice, but with the numbers we tend to have in the PBA these past years, it's hardly realistic. In the nomination round, it's perfectly okay to choose your nominations from among the stories you have read – whether they are 9 or 90.

* * *

**Q: Do I have to nominate in every category?**

A: No, you don't. Feel free to skip the categories you're not interested in.

* * *

**Q: I'm not interested in crossovers – they tend to be about TV shows I have never seen. Do I have to nominate in that category?**

A: No, you don't have to nominate in every category. You are free to limit yourself to the categories you're interested in.

* * *

**Q: How many nominations are needed to go to the voting round?**

A: One nomination is sufficient for a story, character, teaser or quote to go to the voting round. The only exception to this rule is the category *best story of 2014* - see below.

* * *

**Q: How does the nomination for *best story of 2014* work?**

A: You can nominate 1 story in our most prestigious category: the *best story of 2014*. This can be a story you nominated in another story category as well – mind you, this is the only category where you are allowed to do that!  
However, this is also the only category where your nomination does not automatically let the story go to the voting round. That depends on the overall number of nominations the story receives.  
In short, to go to the voting round in the category *best story of 2014*, a story must:  
\- receive at least 1 nomination in the category *best story of 2014*.  
\- _and_ it must receive nominations from other people in the story and/or character categories.  
Only the stories that have been nominated by the most people will go on to the voting round for *best story of 2014* - we are aiming at approximately 7 to 10 stories in this category in the voting round.  
I know it sounds complicated. Rest assured that the complication is limited to our tabulating the nominations. All _you_ need to do is to nominate your absolute favourite story!

* * *

**Q: I don't know whether character A was originally a guest character, or whether the author just made him up. Where do I nominate him?**

A: To be on the safe side, you can ask the author, alternatively the PBA staff.

* * *

**Q: Can I nominate quotes from my own stories, like we did a few years ago?**

A: No, you can't. That option has been dropped this year. No nominations of your own work are allowed in any category.

* * *

**Q: Where do I find good quotes without rereading every story?**

A: An option is to browse through the reviews. Many reviewers mention a particularly good quote from a chapter in their review.

* * *

**Q: I'm an author, and I've been contacted that my story has been nominated in three different story categories. And now I have to reject one of them. Why can't my story compete in all three?**

A: In order to prevent having one (or a few) stories dominating the entire PBA like we've had in the past, we now have a rule that a story can only go to the voting round in 2 story categories. (Not counting the *best story of 2014*, so if your story got to the voting round there, too, you might still be competing in three categories!)  
New this year is that the categories for drama, comedy and general stories are going to be exclusive. No matter if a story got nominated in all three, a story can only compete in *either* drama, *or* comedy, *or* general story. And if they got nominated in for example both comedy and drama, then the author will have to choose, even if that means the story will only go to the voting round in one story category.  
Combinations of for example drama with challenge, or comedy with unique, or even challenge with unique are certainly permitted. But not drama plus comedy, or comedy plus general, or general plus drama.

* * *

**Q: I'm missing a few stories that have been completed this year. Why aren't they eligible?**

A: Three possible reasons.  
1) The story has been newly edited and reposted, but has already participated in a previous edition of the PBA.  
2) The author has decided to withdraw this particular story from participation in the PBA.  
3) If the story has only been published outside ffnet, we may simply have missed it. If that is the case, please let us know ASAP!

* * *

**Q: I don't have an ffnet account, but I enjoy reading Hogan's Heroes fanfiction. Can I participate in the nominating and voting of the PBA?**

A: Yes, you can.

* * *

**Q: How do I vote?**

A: Once it is time to vote, you will find the instructions here on the site, and on the PBA homepage. For now however, we're just nominating!

* * *

**Q: Where do I send my votes?**

A: You can send them by email to papabearawards at yahoo dot com, alternatively by ffnet PM to Papa Bear Awards. You will always receive a confirmation once your votes have been registered. This could take a few days though, so don't worry if you don't get an instant confirmation.

* * *

**Q: Do I have to vote in every category?**

A: No, you don't have to vote in every category. If you are pressed for time, or if some categories simply don't interest you, it's perfectly okay to limit yourself to voting in only a few categories. Or even only one.

* * *

**Q: My favourite story has been nominated in two categories. Can I vote for that story in both categories?**

A: Yes, you can.

* * *

**Q: My own story/character/teaser/quote has been nominated. Am I allowed to vote for it now?**

A: Yes, you can vote for your own work, if you are indeed convinced that your work is the best in that category. But be honest about it!

* * *

**Q: Do I have to read everything before casting my vote?**

A: In order to make a fair and well–considered decision, it is certainly advisable to have read everything in a category before deciding on your vote in that category.

* * *

**Q: Why can't slash stories and crossovers qualify for "best story of 2014"?**

A: The "best overall story" should be accessible and comprehensible for everyone who enjoys Hogan's Heroes – period. We know (and their authors know) by experience that these two genres have a limited audience.  
Slash stories have the disadvantage that many HH readers (at least according to the posts on the forum and the reviews for slash stories) are not happy with this type of alteration of the canon characters, and they simply refuse to read this type of story.  
And to understand a crossover, you have to be acquainted with another TV-show, movie, book etc. in order to even begin to comprehend the story.  
Therefore, we do not consider stories from these genres suitable to perhaps end up being "the best Hogan's Heroes story that every HHfan should read", no matter how good they are.  
As a side note: in none of the past seven editions of the PBA have stories from these categories made it to the "best overall" category – not even when it was done by direct nomination.

* * *

**Q: I would like to help with the PBA organization. Is there anything I can do?**

A: For this year, all tasks have been divided, although we wouldn't mind getting an extra person on the PBA committee. But if you'd like to help next year, just drop us an email, and we'll notify you once the preparations for next year go underway!

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to contact us.

.

_Enjoy your reading!_


	7. Why Make it Complicated?

.

How to nominate:

Copy and paste this form into an email or a Word document, complete it, and mail it to:

papabearawards at yahoo dot com

no later than _**Friday, February 13th, 2015.**_

**.**

**Name:**

**ffnet/ao3 pen name: **

**Email address:**

.

**MY NOMINATIONS FOR THE PAPA BEAR AWARDS:**

**Best story of 2014:**

Title:

Author:

**Best snapshot:**

Title:

Author:

**Best short drama:**

Title:

Author:

**Best short comedy:**

Title:

Author:

**Best short general story:**

Title:

Author:

**Best long story:**

Title:

Author:

**Best story based on a challenge:**

Title:

Author:

**Best story based on a TV episode:**

Title:

Author:

**Most unique story:**

Title:

Author:

**Best poem, filk or songfic:**

Title:

Author:

**Best crossover story:**

Title:

Author:

**Best portrayal of a canon character:**

Character:

Story:

Author:

**Best portrayal of a canon extra:**

Character:

Story:

Author:

**Best portrayal of an original character:**

Character:

Story:

Author:

**Best portrayal of a visiting character:**

Character:

Story:

Author:

**Best teaser:**

Teaser:

Story:

Author:

**Best quote:**

(Remember: max statement - reply - reaction in dialogue; or max 3 lines (from capital to period) descriptive text; and it has to make sense even outside of its context!)

Quote:

Said by:

Story:

Author:

.

Quote:

Said by:

Story:

Author:

.

Quote:

Said by:

Story:

Author:

* * *

**Closing date for nominations: **

**February 13th, 2015**


	8. Boring

"This is so boring." Meghan sighed, and leaned back against the wall. "I can't understand how your grandfather can stand it - sitting here in the dark all day and all night, waiting for the radio to start talking."

Katie shrugged. "Part of his job, I suppose."

"Which he was only too happy to turn over to us..." Meghan grumbled. "I bet he's reading upstairs and has totally forgotten about us. Have you seen those stories that are in the PBA? Good to totally immerse yourself in. Who'd ever think of a radio when you've got great adventures to read about yourself and your friends?" She let the stool fall back on all four of its legs. "I want to go up there, too. And read. This job is crap."

"We can't," Katie reminded her. "What if Schultz suddenly comes in? Or the Kommandant?"

"We'll..." Meghan's reply was cut short by the radio beeping, and she quickly put on the headset. "Papa Bear to Goldilocks, go ahead."

_"Good day, Papa Bear. We've got another set of nominations to report to you. Do you have pen and paper at the ready?"_

"Sure. Shoot."

_"I beg your pardon?"_

"I mean, go ahead. Sorry."

_"Alright. Well, here we go. Nomination for the best story of 2014..."_

* * *

.

_A/N: Yes, people, don't forget: **tomorrow, Friday the 13th at 23.59.59 Hawaii time** is the deadline to send in your nominations for the Papa Bear Awards. This means that as long as it's still Friday *somewhere* on this planet, you can still send in your favourites. _

_So make sure your favourites are going to make it to the voting round! We've got a viable collection of nominations so far to make a voting round worthwhile, but a little more input would still be beneficial!_


	9. Chapter 10

_._

_Note: Okay, guys, unfortunately I've come down with the flu, so I hope you'll accept a raincheck for the continuation of the story. For now at least – finally – all our nominations, so at the very least you can start celebrating if you got something nominated, and for us others, to start reading and thinking about which stories and characters and everything are going to receive our votes –_

_No later than **Friday, April 3**_**_rd_**_**, 2015 (Good Friday)**  
at 23.59:59 Hawaii time!_

* * *

**THE NOMINATED WORKS**

**BEST SNAPSHOT**

**.**

**Forbidden Love**  
by SamRosinenbomber

**Shoes Make the Man**  
by ami_ven

**The Wall**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

**Uff Da**  
by Book'em Again

* * *

_._

_Turn over to read about the short drama stories!_


	10. Chapter 11

**.**

**THE NOMINATED WORKS**

* * *

**BEST SHORT DRAMA**

**.**

**A Change of Heart**  
by Sgt. Hakeswill

**A Honeymoon in Paris**  
by dust on the wind

**A Respectful Silence**  
by BradyGirl_12

**Goodbye and Keep Cold**  
by FloatingPizza

**Loopy**  
by Belphegor

**Make Peace**  
by Crystal Rose of Pollux

**Sharing the Past**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

**The Violins of Autumn**  
by Belphegor

**Unto Us**  
by Goldleaf83

* * *

_._

_Turn over to read about the short comedies!_


	11. Chapter 12

**.**

**THE NOMINATED WORKS**

* * *

**BEST SHORT COMEDY**

**.**

**According to Plan**  
by Fortune Maiden

**Mirror, Mirror on the Wall**  
by Snooky-9093

**Officers**  
by SamRosinenbomber

**The Eierschalensollbruchstellenverursacher**  
by konarciq

**Will This Kill Me?**  
by kirin-saga

**Who in the World is Mary Noble?**  
by konarciq

* * *

.

_Turn over to read about the short general stories!_


	12. Chapter 13

**. **

**THE NOMINATED WORKS**

* * *

**BEST SHORT GENERAL STORY**

**.**

**A Bridge Too Near**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

**A Very Carter Christmas**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

**Dead Men Tell No Tales**  
by Goldleaf83

**Fruits and Nuts**  
by Goldleaf83

**Keeping up Appearances**  
by Snooky-9093

**The Smell of Disaster**  
by Fear-Of-The- Cold

**The Wedding Dress**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

**Three Times Klink Accidentally Saved a Life  
(and One Time It Was on Purpose)  
**by YamiTami

* * *

_._

_Turn over to read about the long stories!_


	13. Chapter 14

**.**

**THE NOMINATED WORKS**

* * *

**BEST LONG STORY**

**.**

**Best Christmas Present Ever**  
by So-Sings-Nightingales

**Enough is Enough**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

**Front Lines**  
by CollieandShire

**Let's Not Tell Anyone about This**  
by SamRosinenbomber

**Murphy's Law on Steroids**  
by Papa Bear Awards

**The Great Puzzle**  
by Aileil

**The King's Speech**  
by Belphegor

**There's No Place Like Stalag 13**  
by Goldleaf83

**Unsung Man, Unsung Hero**  
by Book'em Again

* * *

.

_Turn over to read about the stories based on a challenge!_


	14. Chapter 15

**.**

**THE NOMINATED WORKS**

* * *

**BEST STORY BASED ON A CHALLENGE**

**.**

**A Bridge Too Near**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

**According to Plan**  
by Fortune Maiden

**Fruits and Nuts**  
by Goldleaf83

**Loopy**  
by Belphegor

**Make Peace**  
by Crystal Rose of Pollux

**Simple Rules**  
by dust on the wind

**The Smell of Disaster**  
by Fear-Of-The-Cold

**Who in the World is Mary Noble?**  
by konarciq

* * *

.

_Turn over to read about the stories based on an episode!_


	15. Chapter 16

**. **

**THE NOMINATED WORKS**

* * *

**BEST STORY BASED ON AN EPISODE**

**.**

**A Honeymoon in Paris**  
by dust on the wind

**Fear of Falling**  
by dust on the wind

**Talking with Otto**  
by Book'em Again

**The Wedding Dress**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

**There's No Place Like Stalag 13**  
by Goldleaf83

* * *

.

_Turn over to read about the most unique stories!_


	16. Chapter 17

**.**

**THE NOMINATED WORKS**

* * *

**MOST UNIQUE STORIES**

.

**A Tale of Two Uniforms**  
by Snooky-9093

**Any Guide in a Storm**  
by EJ3

**Enough is Enough**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

**Fear of Falling**  
by dust on the wind

**Forbidden Love**  
by SamRosinenbomber

**Goodbye and Keep Cold**  
by FloatingPizza

**Postcards**  
by Partly

**Saving My Universe**  
by konarciq

**The Eierschalensollbruchstellenverursacher**  
by konarciq

**The Television**  
by 80sarcades

**Three Times Klink Accidentally Saved a Life  
(and One Time It Was on Purpose)**  
by YamiTami

* * *

.

_Turn over to read about the poetry!_


	17. Chapter 18

**.**

**THE NOMINATED WORKS**

* * *

**BEST POEMS, FILKS AND SONGFICS**

.

**A Concept Unknown**  
by konarciq

**Hochsty the Snowman**  
by konarciq

**Let it Blow!**  
by konarciq

**That Klink is Such an Idiot,  
He Thinks He Can Be General**  
by Me

**The Guards' Top Secret Morale Booster**  
by konarciq

* * *

.

_Turn over to read about the crossovers!_


	18. Chapter 19

**.**

**THE NOMINATED WORKS**

* * *

**BEST CROSSOVERS**

.

**Bystander**  
by turbomagnus

**The Violin of Autumn**  
by Glory1863

**Unscheduled Liberation of Stalag 13**  
by Susan M.M.

**Wrong Number**  
by Bits and Pieces

* * *

.

_Turn over to read about the slash stories!_


	19. Chapter 20

.

**THE NOMINATED WORKS**

* * *

**BEST SLASH STORY**

.

_Now that the nomination round is over, the small category of the slash stories will join in the game, too. We even got one more entry here to choose from, so even if you thought you had read everything, go and check out the new one (on livejournal) as well before casting your votes!  
A direct link from the PBA website will be up as soon as I feel a bit better... _

.

**Plus Jamais le Front**  
by Psychoslasher

**Reunion**  
by BradyGirl_12

**Staff Car Seduction**  
by Khylara

**Storm Clouds Gathering**  
by BradyGirl_12

**The Chessmaster Says Checkmate**  
by booey875

**Warmth**  
by orphan_account

* * *

.

_Turn over to read about the canon characters!_


	20. Chapter 21

**.**

**THE NOMINATED WORKS**

* * *

**BEST PORTRAYAL OF CANON CHARACTERS**

.

**Burkhalter**  
in  
_Goodbye and Keep Cold_  
by FloatingPizza

**Carter**  
in  
_A Very Carter Christmas_  
by Sgt. Moffitt

**Carter**  
in  
_Loopy_  
by Belphegor

**Hogan**  
in  
_Front Lines_  
by CollieandShire

**Hogan **  
in  
_There's No Place Like Stalag 13_  
by Goldleaf83

**Kinch**  
in  
_Unsung Man, Unsung Hero_  
by Book'em Again

**Schultz**  
in  
_Enough is Enough_  
by Sgt. Moffitt

* * *

.

_Turn over to read about the canon extras!_


	21. Chapter 22

**.**

**THE NOMINATED WORKS**

* * *

**BEST PORTRAYAL OF CANON EXTRAS**

.

**Frieda Burkhalter**  
in  
_The Wedding Dress_  
by Sgt. Moffitt

**Gretchen Schultz**  
in  
_Enough is Enough_  
by Sgt. Moffitt

**Hercules / Ned**  
in  
_Fear of Falling_  
by dust on the wind

**Marlene Schneider von Heffernick**  
in  
_A Honeymoon in Paris_  
by dust on the wind

**Tiger **  
in  
_The Violins of Autumn_  
by Belphegor

* * *

.

_Turn over to read about the original characters!_


	22. Chapter 23

**.**

**THE NOMINATED WORKS**

* * *

**BEST PORTRAYAL OF ORIGINAL CHARACTERS**

.

**Atkins &amp; Dodders**  
in  
_Fear of Falling_  
by dust on the wind

**Blümchen**  
in  
_Keeping up Appearances_  
by Snooky-9093

**Captain K'yrk**  
in  
_Alien Nightmare, part II: The Return_  
by 80sarcades

**Cpl. DeGelleke**  
in  
_Officers_  
by SamRosinenbomber

**Geisler**  
in  
_Simple Rules_  
by dust on the wind

**John Hogan **  
in  
_A Stay in Connecticut_  
by Missy the Least

**John Hogan **  
in  
_Unto Us &amp; Dead Men Tell No Tales_  
by Goldleaf83

**Jürgen **  
in  
_A Bridge Too Near_  
by Sgt. Moffitt

* * *

.

_Turn over to read about the visiting crossover characters!_


	23. Chapter 24

**.**

**THE NOMINATED WORKS**

* * *

**BEST PORTRAYAL OF VISITING CROSSOVER CHARACTERS**

.

**Bill &amp; Ted**  
in  
_Wrong Number_  
by Bits and Pieces

**Lt. Columbo**  
in  
_Alien Nightmare, part II: The Return_  
by 80sarcades

* * *

.

_Turn over to read about the teasers!_


	24. Chapter 25

**.**

**THE NOMINATED WORKS**

* * *

**BEST TEASERS**

.

**After a bolt of lightning strikes a house two girls are transferred back in time to WWII,  
where they not only meet Hogan and his men  
but discover that their time period isn't exactly as fun and adventurous as it seems.**  
_Story: Front Lines  
Author: CollieandShire_

.

**Can you really blame the guy?**  
_Story: Enough is Enough  
Author: Sgt. Moffitt_

.

**Is it a bell? Is it a weapon? Is it a medical instrument? No, it's... what did you call that thing?!**  
_Story: The Eierschalensollbruchstellenverursacher  
Author: konarciq_

.

**It can happen to anybody. Unfortunately.**  
_Story: Forbidden Love  
Author: SamRosinenbomber_

.

**So who do you think you are kidding, Colonel Hogan?  
(Warning for the Hapless Guard: don't **_**ever**_** sing the words out loud,  
or it will guarantee you a trip to the Russian front!)**  
_Story: The Guards' Top Secret Morale Booster  
Author: konarciq_

.

**There must have been some magic in that old Gestapo touch...**  
_Story: Hochsty the Snowman  
Author: konarciq_

* * *

_._

_Turn over to read about the quotes!_


	25. Chapter 26

**.**

**THE NOMINATED WORKS**

* * *

**BEST QUOTES**

.

_And you may vote for as many as you want!_

_Note: the numbers listed are purely to make it easier for you. They have no real value at all._

_If you want to know where the quotes come from, you'll have to visit the PBA website – up soon!_

.

1

A cold dread washed over Colonel Hogan as he realized that he hadn't considered this scenario.  
His men were on time. All of them.  
.

2

"And if there's a whole galaxy full of women, as she said..."  
"Then we'd better hope the chocolate never runs out. If it does, God help us all."  
.

3

"Are you always this infuriating?"  
"Oh no, sir. Sometimes I'm asleep."  
.

4

"Friends are like balloons.  
When they get too full of themselves, there's nothing like a successful prank to let out some air  
and bring them back down to earth."  
.

5

"Got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, if you ask me."  
"Well, Newkirk, I can't see how that's possible. The other side is the wall."  
.

6

Grown men did not pout; they frowned in disappointment.  
And Carter noticed that every single one of them was not-pouting.  
.

7

"Hogan… there is one favor I'd like to ask of you.  
After your Patton arrives and before I'm taken to an Allied POW camp,  
there's one thing I'd like to see. Your tunnel."  
"I'll tell you what, Kommandant. _If_ Patton comes and _if_ they plan on shipping you out  
and _if_ I have a tunnel under construction at the time…  
well, I'll _think_ about showing it to you."  
.

8

"I felt a volunteer vibe from you. Go get on a civilian suit."  
"Boy, the way they give orders around here someone's gonna think we're in the army!"  
.

9

"Instead of saying you're bald, sir, why don't you say you're folically challenged?  
That has a better ring to it."  
.

10

"It's no wonder you Germans are losing the war;  
all you people do is go around _inspecting_ each other."  
.

11

It started out like every other morning in a POW camp. Really, it did.  
.

12

It was 2355 on a winter night in Germany (for it was always winter, except when it was not).  
.

13

"Just think, sir – if your shoes go to the Russian front, you won't have to."  
.

14

"Leprechauns in Germany, that's like saying the Easter Bunny is Australian!"  
.

15

"Major, that is my paperwork!"  
"Find yourself some other paperwork – I have a code to crack."  
.

16

Parachutes. Dozens of them.  
They seemed to drift on the wind in absolute silence, slowly, gracefully,  
like white snow from an ink-black sky.  
.

17

"Schultz especially is susceptible to bribery with treats:  
I'm his maître d'Apfelstrudel – he sees nothing when he eats."  
.

18

"Should be a piece of pie – we've done far crazier things, haven't we?"  
"You mean 'piece of cake'," Carter corrected him solemnly –  
only to look around in confusion at the general bout of laughter that followed his words.  
.

19

"Sir, are you thinking what I think you're thinking?"  
"That's exactly what I'm thinking."  
"Great. Would you care to inform the rest of us?"  
.

20

The legend of the dreaded monster H'rshi terrified children of all ages.  
In the tale, only the valiant warriors of the Matriarchate stood between the dark foe and the utter destruction of civilization.  
It was a story passed on to generations of young ones who eventually grew to dismiss such fairy tales as nonsense;  
after all, monsters didn't exist, and it was just a silly, childish story – wasn't it?  
.

21

"Well, the U.S. Navy has an old saying, Major."  
"And that is...?"  
"A woman in every port. Naturally, the Air Force likes to keep their women in the closet. More efficient that way. Besides, if the closet is large enough for two..."  
.

22

"What is going on here?" General Burkhalter asked,  
the jolly smile he wore while looking at Helga quickly dissolving into intense annoyance.  
Or indigestion. One of the two.  
.

23

"Who do you think you are kidding, Colonel Hogan,  
if you think we guards are dumb!  
We are the ones handling giant killer dogs –  
you only deal with one angry little Frog!"  
.

24

"You have drenched me with ice water; thrown me off a plane;  
convinced me I was psychic and a great painter when I am neither;  
kidnapped me; gotten me thrown into a Parisian jail on my vacation; waltzed off with my dates;  
made a fool of me one thousand ninety-five times over;  
put me at the risk of death or the Russian Front at least once a week since you became my charge;  
stolen my clothes, my cigars, my Schnapps,  
and you have never, ever, let me down."  
.

25

"You're out of regulation, Corporal. And out of fashion. Shave off those sideburns."

* * *

_._

_And now – finally – on to the most prestigious category of all: the best story of 2014...  
A category where fierce competition reigned among the nominated stories in order to qualify.  
Eight stories finally made it..._

_Go check them out!_


	26. Chapter 27

.

**THE NOMINATED WORKS**

* * *

And the best for last: the stories that were nominated AND qualified  
to compete for the ultimate honour of

.

**BEST STORY OF 2014!**

.

**Enough is Enough**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

.

**Fear of Falling**  
by dust on the wind

.

**Goodbye and Keep Cold**  
by FloatingPizza

.

**Loopy**  
by Belphegor

.

**The King's Speech**  
by Belphegor

.

**The Violins of Autumn**  
by Belphegor

.

**There's No Place Like Stalag 13**  
by Goldleaf83

.

**Unsung Man, Unsung Hero**  
by Book'em Again

* * *

.

Four more stories were nominated for Best Story of 2014, and all of them unfortunately remained only 1 secondary nomination short by other nominators to make it to the voting round. Their authors however will be informed – because whether your story in the end qualified or not, it's still an honour to be _nominated_ for best story of 2014, isn't it?  
At least all these four stories were nominated elsewhere, too, so their fans can still vote for them!

_Read on to learn about this year's voting - with 3 votes in each category!_

.

But first a solid round of applause for Sgt. Moffitt,  
who did a great job on the double checking!

**Thank you for a terrific job, Sgt. Moffitt!**

.

And also a round of applause already for the members of the PBA committee:  
**Book'em Again, Sgt. Moffitt and Snooky-9093**  
It's been fairly quiet on the PBA front so far,  
but the job isn't finished yet...


	27. Chapter 28

.

And then it's time for voting!

.

Remember, you have **3 votes** in every category!

* * *

_How does it work to have 3 votes in each category?  
An example with non-existent stories:_

_._

_Nominated:_

_Hogan's Dog_

_Carter's Rabbit_

_Klink's Mouse_

_Schultz's Cow_

_Newkirk's Monkey_

_Kinch's Gopher_

_LeBeau's Cat_

_._

_Voter A just loves all these stories, but having to choose three, he gives 1 vote to Carter's Rabbit, 1 vote to Kinch's Gopher, and 1 vote to Klink's Mouse._

_Voter B is very particular that Hogan's Dog is the best story. So he decides to give Hogan's Dog his vote, and doesn't use his other 2 votes._

_Voter C thinks Newkirk's Monkey and Schultz's Cow are by far the best - the rest are definitely of less quality. So he gives 1 vote to Newkirk's Monkey, and 1 vote to Schultz's Cow, and doesn't use his last vote._

* * *

And in the quote category, you may vote for as many as you want – no limits!  
In case that makes things complicated when listing them:  
as you might have noticed, the quotes have been given a number.  
That should make it easier to list your favourites.

* * *

Also available on the PBA website are direct links to all the nominated works.  
That should save you some searching on ffnet and elsewhere.

Address of the PBA website:  
**www dot konarciq dot net / fanfiction / PapaBearAwards / index. html**  
(take out the spaces and translate to internet speak)  
_The website will be up soon!_

* * *

And the good news:  
in this round you are allowed to vote for your own work -  
provided you _really_ think it is the best...!

.

Your votes can be sent by email to **papabearawards at yahoo dot com**  
or to Papa Bear Awards by ffnet PM.  
Make sure you include your name and ffnet ID or AO3 ID (if you have one)!

Also available: a comprehensive PBA survey!  
See next chapter for instructions.

* * *

.

**Closing date: Friday, April 3rd (Good Friday)  
at 23.59:59 Hawaii Time!**  
.

* * *

The voting is open for everyone who enjoys Hogan's Heroes fanfiction.

.

Every voter will receive a confirmation of the registration of his/her votes within about a week.

And remember: you're only allowed 1 set of votes!  
If you've voted in the survey, don't send in your votes by email or PM as well – and vice versa!

.

Winners in all categories will be announced after the votes are tabulated.  
A Gold, Silver and Bronze award will be awarded for each category – if applicable.

.

So read, enjoy and **vote**!

* * *

.

Remember:

**Closing date is Friday, April 3rd, 2015  
(Good Friday)**


	28. Chapter 29

.

Also available: a comprehensive PBA survey!

Web address:

**www. surveyplanet dot com / 54e0ebef55d320046c7b3b1e  
**(take out the spaces and translate to internet speak)

* * *

.

So how does it work?

The survey starts with some basic identification info. It's the same stuff we ask you to include when you vote via email or PM:  
name, ffnet ID and email address.  
Only the two voting tabulators (konarciq and steffiundaxel) will have access to this information – no one else can see your answers in the survey. It's just as private as sending your votes by email to the papabearawards address.

Then the survey continues with the different categories – one page with a multiple choice question for each category.  
Only the quotes are spread out over several pages – there were too many to fit on one page!  
The survey follows the order of the voting template, to keep it easy for you.

Unfortunately, the website seems to have taken away the possibility of navigating back and forth through the questions – you can only go forward in the survey, not back! Still...  
**Once you click 'submit' at the end, you can't change your votes anymore!**  
So make sure you've made up your mind about your choices _before_ starting on the survey!

In each category you may cast 3 votes. Or 1, or 2, or none at all, as explained in the previous chapter.  
It is no problem to skip a question in the survey.  
Just click on 'next', and you'll go on to the next category.  
Only the identification questions *must* be answered before you can continue.

The final page asks you if you're really sure you don't want to change anything anymore,  
and if you are, you click on 'submit' – and that's it: you've voted!

* * *

**Closing date for submitting your votes: **

_**April 3rd, 2015**_


	29. Chapter 30

_._

_An easy template for voting.  
If you like, you can simply copy this into an email or a Word document, complete it,  
and send it to __**papabearawards at yahoo dot com**__!_  
_It can also be found on the PBA website – where there is no no-copy script!_

* * *

**Name:**

**FFnet ID or AO3 ID: **

**Email address:**

.

**MY VOTES FOR THE PAPA BEAR AWARDS:**

**Best story of 2014:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

**Best snapshot:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

**Best short drama:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

**Best short comedy:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

**Best short general story:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

**Best long story:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

**Best story based on a challenge:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

**Best story based on a TV episode:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

**Most unique story:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

**Best poem, filk or songfic:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

**Best crossover story:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

**Best slash story:**

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

Title:  
Author:

**Best portrayal of a canon character:**

Character:  
Story:  
Author:

Character:  
Story:  
Author:

Character:  
Story:  
Author:

**Best portrayal of a canon extra:**

Character:  
Story:  
Author:

Character:  
Story:  
Author:

Character:  
Story:  
Author:

**Best portrayal of an original character:**

Character:  
Story:  
Author:

Character:  
Story:  
Author:

Character:  
Story:  
Author:

**Best portrayal of a visiting crossover character:**

Character:  
Story:  
Author:

**Best teaser:**

Teaser:  
Story:

Teaser:  
Story:

Teaser:  
Story:

**Best quote:**

_You may vote for as many as you want – so feel free to add more if necessary! If you want to do it the easy way, you can simply vote with the numbers listed with the quotes in chapter 21, and on the PBA website. _:-)

Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

* * *

**Closing date for sending in your votes: **

_**April 3rd, 2015**_


	30. We're Going to Take Antwerp

"Kinchloe! Where is Sergeant Kinchloe!" Meghan came running down the tunnel in search for the radio expert. "Newkirk!" She grabbed his arm. "Have you seen Kinch?"

"No, I haven't." Newkirk disentangled himself from her grip. "What's up?"

"It's the radio. They want to talk to you guys, and since we're not allowed to touch it..."

"Okay, I'll come."

A moment later they entered the radio room. Katie was still sitting by the equipment, with one hand hovering over the switch they had seen Kinch use so often in these past weeks. "Where is Sergeant Kinchloe?"

"Upstairs somewhere. I'll take the call," Newkirk decided. He moved the young lady out of the way and took the mike. "Papa Bear here. Go ahead, Goldilocks."

"Papa Bear, is that you? Thank heavens we can still reach you!"

"Why, what's up?"

"The Allies are pushing for the diamond this week. Everyone is run off their feet; all the radio frequencies are overloaded as we're speaking. There is no way we can do the Papa Bear awards this weekend."

Newkirk's eyebrows had quirked up at this. "The diamond? That sounds good, mate!"

"Yes, we're hoping for the best. But the Papa Bear awards will have to be delayed a bit. _**The new scheduled deadline is for next Friday, April 10th.**_ Can you please pass this on to everyone concerned?"

"Sure. No worries. And good luck!"

* * *

_Author's note: yes, due to a job interview in the city of diamonds (Antwerp), unfortunately the PBA schedule got a bit messed up. New deadline for your votes is Friday next week, April 10th, at 23.59:59 Hawaii time! _

_And keep those votes coming - they have been trickling in since February, but we really could do with some more input! And with an extra week to make your decision..._


	31. Headache Coming on

"You know, this is getting ridiculous," Meghan said.

Katie leaned on the table with the radio stuff. "Yeah. I know what you mean. What the heck are we doing here?"

Meghan rolled her eyes. "We're _supposed_ to take in and organize all the votes from the men here in camp, so Kinch can transmit them to London. But there's only been a handful of voters down here so far!"

"Yeah, what are these guys doing?" Katie chimed in. "I can understand it from Hogan and his men - they're up to their eyeballs in missions all the time. But what about the rest? Hundreds of them, supposed to be bored out of their minds! They can't have much better to do than to read those nominated stories and decide which ones they like best, can they?"

"Maybe we should do something," Meghan proposed. "Maybe we could..."

* * *

.

_Author's note: Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the deadline for your PBA votes is approaching fast. **Friday evening, 23.59:59 Hawaii time is the deadline**, and we could *really* do with some more input. Or do you want our two intrepid Mary Sue heroines to put their (admittedly dangerous) plan for gathering more votes into action...? Please don't give Hogan that headache...  
_


	32. Attention, Attention!

"Have you got your speech?" Meghan whispered.

Katie patted her pocket. "Ssh. Quiet now. We need to hear when Klink leaves."

The two girls stood there in the near darkness at the dead end of a tunnel. Their eyes were turned upward, as if to help their ears to catch even the slightest sound of what was going on above them. All they could hear were some muffled sounds of someone moving around. A dull snap, and then a soft bang - and then it grew quiet.

"He must have left," Katie breathed excitedly. "Now we just need to get this stove out of the way."

Together they pulled at the handle that was supposed to move the stove over the tunnel exit in the Kommandant's quarters. It wasn't quite as easy as it looked though: the thing was heavy, and it was difficult to get a good leverage on the thing.

"Pull - harder!" Katie said - and finally, the heavy thing inched aside.

"Quick!" Meghan pushed the last corner aside, and pushed herself up on the rim. Katie followed, while her friend was already looking around.

"I think we need to be in the office."

"Quick then. And we better lock it."

They tried the door, and ended up in the bedroom. No, the other door then. Yes, that one led directly to Klink's office.

"Repooooort!" they heard the Kommandant yell outside. Hopefully, he'd be busy for a good while. With one of his gloating lectures or something.

But... "It's not here!" Katie exclaimed under her breath.

"Maybe in the other office, where Hilda and Helga work," Meghan suggested. She already eased the door open and peeked around it. The office was as deserted as Klink's.

On tiptoe, the two girls searched the room. By the sound of it, Klink had indeed started on one of his endless speeches - but for how long would Hogan let him get away with it?

"Here - this must be it!" Katie pulled out a microphone with a special switch to it. "We need to plug it in. See an outlet somewhere?"

Meghan had already found one and plugged it in. "Go ahead. No, wait!" She hurried to the door leading outside, and turned the lock.

A deep breath, and then Katie pulled the switch. "Here is a message for the prisoners and guards of Stalag 13!" They heard the words booming in an echo outside - together with a sudden frenzied silence the moment Katie's sentence was finished. But she plunged on, "Tomorrow at midnight Hawaii time is the deadline for your beloved Papa Bear Awards. You have about thirty-six hours to cast your votes in this election. And word to the wise: you better get your votes in, for where would you be without all these diligent authors writing about you?"

That was when the door was kicked in...

* * *

.

_Author's note: Remember: you have about 36 hours left to send in your votes - and please do, because so far, we've had more people nominating than voting this year. That sure is a first! Now come on and let us know what your favourite stories are! It needn't take you ages to participate - the PBA survey can be taken in the scope of some 5 minutes! The address: _

www surveyplanet com / 54e0ebef55d320046c7b3b1e

_Remember: **Friday night, 23.59:59 Hawaii time is the deadline!**_


	33. Caught Red-Handed

_Author's note: Okay, I'll see how far I get tonight... Might be continued tomorrow!_

* * *

Both Meghan and Katie jumped.

"What are these girls doing here?"

Hochstetter...

"Klink! Are you having a private harem in your office? Who are these girls?"

Klink's head bobbed up and down, and then shook in the negative. "I have no idea, major. I have no idea who they are, or where they come from, or why they are here." He glanced at them with something like fright in his eyes. "Who are you, and what are you doing here?"

"Obviously, they are spies," Hochstetter concluded. "Using the speaker system to..." He frowned.

"To confuse the enemy?" Schultz helpfully filled in.

"Yes. Yes, of course." Hochstetter stroked his chin.

Klink twittered. "But they didn't fool me! Oh no, they didn't!"

"Klink!" Hochstetter's glower silenced the Kommandant on the spot. "I will get to the bottom of this. Guards! Take them away."

"Where?" Meghan ventured timidly.

An evil grin. "To Gestapo Headquarters of course. We will have some nice long... consultations together, I'm sure. You're going to love every minute of it."

Schultz leaned over to them. "Don't believe him," he whispered. "He will love it for sure, but you..."

"Alright, take them away."

Two guards came in and each took hold of one of the girls. But they were literally run off their feet by Sergeant Baker. "Hey, what are you girls doing over here? The winners of the Papa Bear Awards are coming in - you're needed at the radio!"

"What radio?" Hochstetter growled. "Klink, do you allow these prisoners to have a radio?"

"Of course, Herr major," Klink babbled. "But they only get German radios. They can only listen to our broadcasts. They generally love the Führer's speeches, don't you, Sergeant?"

"Um... yeah, sure. But..."

"So, there is no harm in them listening to the radio. Especially when it's about the Papa Bear Awards. Why, I even..."

"Papa Bear Awards? As in the notorious Underground leader Papa Bear who makes my life a misery? That Papa Bear?" Hochstetter looked as if he was about to start eating the person standing nearest to him (which happened to be Schultz).

"Oh no, major," Schultz diffused the tension. "I'm sure it's just a coincidence. It's just a harmless game, isn't it, Kommandant?"

"A harmless game. Yes. Of course. Now, Sergeant - lead the way. We would all like to hear who won the Papa Bear Awards this year."

Baker looked back and forth between the different people in the office. The two scared time travellers. The exceptionally pleasant Kommandant. Friendly and eager Schultz. Two stoic guards still holding the girls. And major Hochstetter, whose middle name seemed to be 'Suspicious'.

"Um, Kommandant..."

"Yes?"

"Um... I'm afraid it'd be a bit crowded if you all cram around the radio. That's why we thought we might use the speaker system. That way, everyone could hear the results at the same time."

"What an ingenious idea!" Schultz exclaimed. "So that's why the girls were here! After all, I'm sure the men would much rather listen to the voice of a nice girl than that of a fellow prisoner!"

"Right." Baker still wasn't quite sure where this was going, but he was playing along as best as he could. "So - if perhaps you men would like to stay here, to make sure no unauthorized stuff is going to be announced over the speaker system? Then I'll go back to the radio, and send someone over with the results for every category."

"Excellent!" Klink proclaimed. "You see, major? It's nothing to worry about - just a harmless game. So, Sergeant - you run along now, and we'll keep an eye... an appreciative eye, I may say... on your female friends."

Meghan and Katie looked at each other. What was the Kommandant up to?

But Baker nodded, visibly relieved, and disappeared outside.

"Well..." Hochstetter drawled. "I suppose my interrogation can wait a little. I am curious to see what these Papa Bear Awards are."

He didn't have to wait long - within a few minutes, Carter came running into the building. "Where are... oh, there you are! We've got the results for the snapshot category. Are you ready?"

"Yes." Katie pressed the button for the speaker system again.

"Here you are." He handed her one of Kinch's little blue notes.

Katie straightened it out, and turned to the microphone. "Ladies and gentlemen, or rather... gentlemen! Here are the winners of the Papa Bear Awards. We start with the snapshot category.

* * *

**BEST SNAPSHOT**

**.**

_Gold:_

****UFF DA**  
**by Book'em Again

.

_Silver:_

**The Wall**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

.

_Bronze:_

**Forbidden Love**  
by SamRosinenbomber

* * *

"Hurray!" Schultz shouted. "What's up next?"

Carter shrugged. "I don't know. But look, there is LeBeau coming. He'll have the next results!"


	34. The Dramatis Personae

LeBeau was panting so hard that all he could do was thrusting the blue paper down in front of the microphone.

"And the next one," Katie announced. "The Short Drama category!

* * *

**BEST SHORT DRAMA**

**.**

_Gold:_

**UNTO US**  
by Goldleaf83

.

_Silver:_

**Loopy**  
by Belphegor

and

**Make Peace**  
by Crystal Rose of Pollux

and

**The Violins of Autumn**  
by Belphegor

.

_Bronze:_

**Goodbye and Keep Cold**  
by FloatingPizza

* * *

"So many silver winners?" Klink inquired. "How come?"

LeBeau shrugged. "They said the competition was murder in this category. Each new set of votes gave a different end result!"

"I wonder what it was like for the short comedies then," Carter mused. "There weren't all that many this year, but I recall I had a real hard time picking my favourites there. Who's coming over with those?"


	35. All Winners!

"Newkirk, I believe," LeBeau said. "And you need to get back for the next batch. You can't very well expect the Colonel to run messages, can you?"

"But I want to know which stories won in the short comedy section!" Carter protested.

"You will. Thanks to Katie, you'll know exactly who's winning."

And there was Newkirk indeed. "Blimey, Carter, you still here? Better make it back to the Colonel quick time! Oh, and here are the results for the comedies." He handed the blue paper to Katie. "You alright, luv?"

"Yeah, sure." Katie sighed. "I just hope," she whispered, "That this is going to take a looooong time. It seems like we'll be heading to Gestapo Headquarters the moment we're through with the announcement of the winners."

"Aw, don't worry about it. The Governor will think of something. He always does." Newkirk prodded her. "Now go ahead and announce them. I'm sure Carter is not the only one who's dying to hear the results!"

So Katie took a good breath, and

* * *

**BEST SHORT COMEDY**

**.**

_Gold:_

**THE EIERSCHALENSOLLBRUCHSTELLENVERURSACHER  
**by konarciq

**.**

_Silver:_

**According to Plan**  
by Fortune Maiden

.

_Bronze:_

**Mirror, Mirror on the Wall**  
by Snooky-9093

_and_

**Officers**  
by SamRosinenbomber

_and_

**Who in the World is Mary Noble?**  
by konarciq

_and_

**Will This Kill Me?**  
by kirin-saga

* * *

Carter's jaw was still dropped by the time he reached the radioroom. "Colonel, this can't be true. Did _all_ the nominated stories in short comedy win?"

"Yep," Kinch answered for the Colonel. "And from what I hear, they all got lots of votes, too!"

Carter grinned. "Clearly I wasn't the only one who couldn't make up their mind. So..." He leaned on the table. "What's next?"


	36. The Life Saver

"Short general stories," the Colonel said. "How is it, Kinch, are they transmitting yet?"

"Yes." Kinch pushed the headphones a bit closer to his ear, and with his other hand he scribbled down the information on the next blue sheet of his pad. "Here you are."

And Carter read,

* * *

**BEST SHORT GENERAL STORY**

**.**

_Gold:_

**THREE TIMES KLINK ACCIDENTALLY SAVED A LIFE  
(AND ONE TIME IT WAS ON PURPOSE)  
**by YamiTami

.

_Silver:_

**A Very Carter Christmas**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

.

_Bronze:_

**A Bridge Too Near**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

_and**  
**_

**The Smell of Disaster**  
by Fear-Of-The- Cold

* * *

"I don't believe it!" he said. "A story about Klink saving lives wins? When did he become the good guy?"

The Colonel smirked. "It's just fiction, Carter. Nothing to worry about. Now get up there to have it broadcasted, and I hope LeBeau is back on his way here for the next category. He should have been back here ages ago."

"It's the girls," Kinch said darkly. "We should never have let them do the broadcasting..."


	37. Broken Airwaves

Kinch's sombre prediction turned out to be false - Carter met LeBeau on the way out of the radio room.

"Have you heard?" he greeted his French friend. "A story about Klink saving lives won! I thought _we_ were supposed to be the heroes!"

"Quoi? Klink saving lives?! By Jove, what is this war coming to?" Shaking his head, LeBeau descended into the tunnel. "Mon Colonel," he began as soon as he entered the radio room.

But a gesture from Kinch silenced him, and he watched eagerly as their radioman scribbled away on his next blue note.

"Here." Kinch handed it to him. "Better go and have this broadcasted right away."

"Yes, but... Klink saving lives?"

"LeBeau..."

"Oui, mon Colonel?"

"Shut up."

LeBeau grinned. "Okay, I'm off. Let's see who the winners in the next category were." He glanced at the paper. "The Long Story category - yes, that's right." He grinned. "There - at least Carter gets some of the spotlight, too. He'll be happy. And..." A frown. "Schultz? Incroyable..."

So a minute or so later, Katie's voice boomed out over the compound, "These are the winners of the Long Story category:

* * *

**BEST LONG STORY**

**.**

_Gold:**  
**_

**THE KING'S SPEECH**  
by Belphegor

.

_Silver:_

**Enough is Enough**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

_and_

**Unsung Man, Unsung Hero**  
by Book'em Again

.

_Bronze:_

**There's No Place Like Stalag 13**  
by Goldleaf83

* * *

There was an ominous crackle when that last story was announced, followed by an earsplitting shriek over the comsystem.

"Murder in Stalag 13," Newkirk chuckled. "What seems to be the problem, luv?"

Katie shook the microphone, and put it down. "I don't know. Maybe it's broken?"

"It better well not be." Newkirk came over to inspect the thing, but technical stuff wasn't quite his expertise. He switched the microphone on and off a few times, calling, "Testing, testing, one two three." But it was obvious that the speaker system did not blare out his words over the compound.

"Maybe Sergeant Kinchloe can fix it?" Meghan suggested. "I heard he's quite good with radios and stuff."

"Kinch is busy with the administration of the Papa Bear Awards," LeBeau reminded her. "Perhaps Baker can help."

"Baker? Yes, sure he can. But where is he?"

LeBeau shrugged. "How should I know? He came here to set up the stuff for the girls, and then..."

"Well, we better go find him. Or the natives will get restless if they don't hear the rest of the results soon." And turning to the girls, "You two just sit tight, okay? We'll have you back on the air in no time."

"Perhaps I can get in a little interrogation in the meantime," Hochstetter purred.

"Uh! Over my dead body, major!" Klink announced expansively. Only to cower away when Hochstetter gave him a quick once over before snarling, "Don't tempt me..."

* * *

_Author's note: Yes, and here it's well past 11 p.m. so I'm going to call it quits for tonight. Tomorrow will see the rest of the winners announced (if they can find Baker in order to get the speaker system repaired of course...)_


	38. The Ultimate Challenge

"Hey, what's going on in there!"

"Yeah, where is the rest of the results!"

"_We want results! We want results!_" someone started, and soon a whole crowd outside Klink's office was cheering along, demanding to hear the results of their beloved Papa Bear Awards. "_WE WANT RESULTS! WE WANT RESULTS! WE WANT RESULTS!_"

"Well, Klink..." Hochstetter sneered. "You are the Kommandant around here, I believe? What are you going to do about this... insubordination?"

Klink wrung his hands. "Yes. Well. It seems the men have not been able to find Sergeant Baker yet. And..."

"Could it be, perhaps... that he escaped?"

"Oh no, major," Klink assured him. "No one ever escapes from Stalag 13."

"Yes, I know. Well, then where is this Sergeant Baker?"

"Don't worry, major. We will find him." Klink turned to Newkirk, who was chatting up the two girls. "Corporal Newkirk, why haven't you joined in the search for Sergeant Baker?"

Newkirk grinned. "Well, someone's got to keep an eye on these two birds, sir. Can't leave them helpless in the presence of three such forceful Germans now, can I."

"I assure you the girls are perfectly safe with me," Klink scoffed.

Hochstetter smirked. "I agree. And they would be totally _not_ safe with me. And since you are only a prisoner, you have no say in the matter - has he now, Klink?"

Klink's head bobbed up and down. "Oh no, major. Totally not safe."

"Right, therefore, you and the Engländer will go outside now and get those chanting ruffians to shut up. While I..." Hochstetter patted his stomach, "Will look after our two lovely 'birds' here."

"But...!" Newkirk started to protest.

But Schultz interrupted him. He had gone outside to try and calm down the 'ruffians' on his own, but found it was no use. "Kommandant," he panted. "They'll soon start eating each other out there. We have to do something. Give them _something_!"

"How about a firing squad?" Hochstetter suggested.

"How about the results of the next category?" was Klink's infinitely more sensible suggestion.

"But the speaker system isn't working!" Newkirk protested.

"So - we'll simply announce it once they are quiet enough. Do we have the next batch of results yet?"

"Yes. Here it is." Newkirk picked up the paper LeBeau had delivered shortly before.

"Right. Now you go out there, get those men quiet and announce the next results. That will keep them under control for a while. A little while at least."

Newkirk sighed, and gave the girls an apologetic glance. But he trudged dutifully outside, and started to shout over the ruckus.

"You got some more results?" O'Brien bellowed in the first row.

"Yep. If you guys just calm down, I'll..."

"We don't want you - we want the girl to announce them!" Goldman yelled from further back. "Where is the girl?"

"We want the girl!" someone started, and immediately the new chorus took over. "WE WANT THE GIRL! WE WANT THE GIRL! WE WANT THE GIRL!"

"You call this crowd control?" Hochstetter inquired with Klink.

"Oh, for heaven's sake..." Newkirk came back in and took Meghan by the hand. "Come on. You tell'em."

"But...!"

But they were already outside, and the moment the men saw the female shape on the porch, they started whistling - and then quieted down.

"Does she have some more results?" Harper yelled.

"Yes." Newkirk glowered at his barracks mate. "Now if you lot just keep your mouth shut, she'll have a chance of telling you the results for the Challenge Category."

Meghan gulped, and looked at the little blue note.

* * *

**BEST STORY BASED ON A CHALLENGE**

**.**

_Gold:_

**LOOPY  
**by Belphegor

**.**

_Silver:_

**Fruits and Nuts**  
by Goldleaf83

_and_

**Simple Rules**  
by dust on the wind

.

_Bronze:_

**Make Peace**  
by Crystal Rose of Pollux

_and**  
**_

**The Smell of Disaster**  
by Fear-Of-The-Cold

* * *

And there was cheering all around.


	39. Who is Otto?

"Now then," Hochstetter said while he rubbed his ulcer. "Let's have a nice little chat, right? For example, what is your name?"

Outside, Katie could hear the prisoners cheering at Meghan's announcements. She wished she was out there with her, instead of here in the office with that creep of a Hochstetter.

"Well?" Hochstetter came a bit closer. "That's not such a difficult question, is it?"

Katie gulped. _Name, rank and serial number_, it flashed through her mind. But she had neither a rank nor a serial number, and as for her name... well, she recalled all too well the troubles the Colonel had foreseen in that _Surly Bonds_ story last year, when his son showed up in camp. If Hochstetter were to find out she was a direct descendant of his archenemy Colonel Hogan, he would use her as a hostage or something to get to the Colonel. She couldn't let that happen. (Good thing she read that story so avidly last year...) So...

"My name? My name is Katie Houlihan." At least Margaret was not likely to be around here somewhere where the Gestapo could get to her.

"Katie... Houlihan?" Hochstetter drew out the name in incredulous astonishment. "What kind of name is that?"

Katie shrugged. "Irish, I believe. It's quite a common name where I come from."

"Houlihan..." Klink savoured the word. "I've never heard it before. It sounds like 'hooligan'. _Houlihan_..."

But Hochstetter's eyes had widened in excited alarm. "Klink... I hate to admit it, but I'm sure you're better up-to-date with the war than I am. Are we at war with the Arabs as well?"

Klink's eyebrows shot up so violently that he almost lost his monocle. "The Arabs? I'm not sure... I know it's a world war, but..."

"It has to be!" Hochstetter proclaimed. "She is obviously a spy. And that name... it sounds Arabic of some sort. Katie must be an alias, but..."

At that moment, Carter came barging in. "Here are the results for the Long Story Category..." His voice trailed off. "Oh. Sorry. Am I interrupting something?"

Katie let out a sigh of relief.

"No - not at all!" Klink assured him. "Let's see those results."

"Has someone found Baker yet?" Carter kept the paper behind his back. "I'm sorry, Kommandant, but we do want to do this democratically. Everybody hears the results at the same time. Even you."

"No," Hochstetter answered instead. "No one has found your Sergeant Baker yet. But go ahead and leave the message with the results outside. Your English comrade and the other girl are announcing the winners outside on the porch."

"Yes, didn't you see them when you came in here?" Klink asked.

Carter shook his head. "Nope. Well, then I better go and announce the winners myself. Or better..." He took Katie by the hand. "I think it's better if you do it. People don't tend to listen to me very well."

He pulled her out the door, and Katie hissed a silent, "Thanks."

"Anytime," he replied with a smile. "Now why don't you read the men the results for the Long Story category, while I go and find Newkirk and your friend."

* * *

**BEST STORY BASED ON AN EPISODE**

**.**

_Gold:_

**FEAR OF FALLING**  
by dust on the wind

_and_

**THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE STALAG 13**  
by Goldleaf83

**.**

_Silver:_

**Talking with Otto**  
by Book'em Again

.

_Bronze:_

**A Honeymoon in Paris**  
by dust on the wind

* * *

As it was, Newkirk and Meghan were only just around the corner of the building.

"Did you get her out?" was Meghan's anxious inquiry.

"Sure. Listen."

They listened to the results being announced. But once the bronze winner had been proclaimed, Carter frowned.

"Newkirk..."

"Yes?"

"Who is Otto?"

A shrug. "Beats me. I've never heard of the fellow."


	40. How to Say Egg Opener in German

"Colonel." Carter entered the radioroom still with the frown on his forehead. "Do we know anyone named Otto?"

"Otto?" Kinch reacted. "You mean the guy with all the passports?"

"Oh!" Carter's face brightened. "That must be him then."

"Must be who, Carter?" Hogan didn't quite follow the conversation.

"The guy someone was talking to in this story that won silver in the Episode category. I don't remember ever talking to an Otto, but I guess someone must have."

Kinch and Hogan exchanged a glance. "Yes. Well, like I said - it's fiction. Don't worry about it."

Carter nodded his understanding. "So there is no Otto?"

Another glance passed between the Colonel and his radioman. "Well, we're not sure."

Carter's face opened up in surprise. "You're not _sure_? How can you be not sure? Either there is an Otto, or there isn't!"

Kinch cleared his throat, and studiously avoided looking at his commanding officer. "Isn't the name of Frau Linkmeyer's missing husband Otto as well? Maybe it was a story about some domestic conversation between her and her husband."

"Yes, that could be, too," Carter conceded. "Boy, we really do learn a lot from these stories, don't we, Colonel? I mean, what chance would we have otherwise of being privy to what Mr. and Mrs. Linkmeyer once were saying to each other in the privacy of their home? It's kind of indecent almost, if you think about it. Like we're spying on them. And she never did anything to..."

"Yes, Carter. But here is the list with the winners in the Unique category. Why don't you run it over to the announcers, okay?"

Carter grinned. "You got it, boy - ehm, I mean, sir." And with a goofy grin, Carter disappeared again up top.

* * *

"What took you so bloody long?" Newkirk chided when he joined his friend again.

"I was just trying to figure out with Kinch and the Colonel who this Otto is. Kinch figures it's probably Frau Linkmeyer's husband."

Newkirk rolled his eyes. "As if we bloody care about him. Now - you got the results for the next category?"

"Yes. Here they are. Meghan, do you want to do the announcing again?"

Meghan gulped. "But what about Katie? Won't major Hochstetter take her back inside then for his questioning?"

"Nah, don't worry." Newkirk put an arm around her shoulders. "We'll make sure she stays out of old Hochstetter's grasp. You go and announce these next winners now." He directed her up the porch, and gestured for Katie to come down to them. "What now, luv - old Hochstetter giving you a hard time, eh?"

Katie sighed. But before she could open her mouth, Meghan's voice - shrill in the stress - rang out over the hundreds of POW heads gathered in front of her.

* * *

**MOST UNIQUE STORIES**

.

_Gold:_

**THE EIERSCHALE-**

She peered at the word. "Eier-schalen-soll- For Pete's sake, how can anyone pronounce that? What crazy language is this?"

"It's perfect German of course," Schultz's voice sounded behind her. "Here - let me read that one."

_Gold:_

**THE EIERSCHALENSOLLBRUCHSTELLENVERURSACHER  
**by konarciq

**.**

He handed the paper back to Meghan. "You do the rest. The men prefer to have a woman read the results to them."

So Meghan obediently read,

_Silver:_

**A Tale of Two Uniforms**  
by Snooky-9093

**.  
**

_Bronze:_

**Enough is Enough**  
by Sgt. Moffitt

* * *

"Now that's what I call odd," Newkirk mused.

"What?" LeBeau joined them.

"That unspellable and unpronounceable story won gold - for _most unique_ story. What's so unique about it? As I recall, it was pretty straightforward stuff. Funny, yes, but... "

"Well, the thingy was certainly unique," Carter defended it.

"The word, too," Katie put in.

"But the story about it?" Newkirk challenged. "I wonder what made the voters pick that one to win gold?"

* * *

_Author's note: As do I as the author... I agree with Newkirk that it's certainly a fun story, but if I may be so bold to ask, what do you guys find so unique about it?_


	41. LeBeau Falls in Love - Again

Meanwhile, back in the tunnel, LeBeau had finally shown up again to do his part in the running back and forth.

"What is up next?" he asked as he came in.

"Poetry," was Kinch's curt reply. "And I think you guys will approve of this more than you did of Klink as a lifesaver."

LeBeau rubbed his hands. "That sounds good. Tell me!"

Kinch handed him the note, and one look was enough to get LeBeau to squeal.

Hogan grinned, too. "I doubt the Kommandant will be very pleased, but hey, that's the game, right? You better run that over to the ladies. And tell Newkirk to leave the ladies for a few minutes to do his share in the estafette."

"Sure." LeBeau quickly clambered back up the ladder. "By the way," he remembered just before he swung his legs over the bedframe. "Has anyone tracked down Baker yet?"

Two pairs of eyebrows were raised.

"Baker?" Hogan asked. "Why - has he gone missing?"

"We're trying to find him so he can repair the speaker system, with Kinch busy down here and all. But so far it seems as if he's disappeared off the face of the earth."

Kinch and Hogan exchanged a glance. "You don't say..."

"Well, you better get up there and have the poetry winners announced. I'm sure Baker will show up again some time."

"Right." And LeBeau disappeared, to go and hand the note over to Katie for her turn with the announcements.

"Thank you, LeBeau." Katie gave him a radiant smile, and out of nowhere, LeBeau's face betrayed that he fell in heavenly love that very instant.

"Mademoiselle Katie..." he murmured. "Will you marry me?"

But Katie was already climbing up on the porch again and announced,

* * *

**BEST POEMS, FILKS AND SONGFICS**

.

_Gold:**  
**_

**LET IT BLOW!**  
by konarciq

_and_

**THAT KLINK IS SUCH AN IDIOT,  
HE THINKS HE CAN BE GENERAL**  
by Me

**.**

_Silver:_

**Hochsty the Snowman**  
by konarciq

.

_Bronze:_

**The Guards' Top Secret Morale Booster**  
by konarciq

* * *

"Now there's a poem I approve of," Newkirk chuckled. "Klink _is_ an idiot - no doubt about it."

"Aw, he's not that bad, Newkirk," Carter pointed out. "If it wasn't for the war, I'm sure he'd be a right decent guy."

"Well, rather you than me." Newkirk prodded LeBeau. "Hey, what's with you?"

LeBeau let out a sigh. "Did you see her smile?"

"Whose?"

"Katie's..." LeBeau was clearly off in dreamland.

"Oh dear." Newkirk shook his head. "He's in love. Again. Hey mate, what happened to those other chums of yours? Wilhelmina and Suzette and the insatiable Marya and all that..."

"They're not here. Katie is."

Carter nodded. "That makes sense, doesn't it, Newkirk?" He frowned. "Not that I approve of it, mind you, but..."

* * *

_(To be continued...)_


	42. Hochstetter Gets Mad

_Author's note: Well, we'll see how far I get with this new brace tonight..._

* * *

Inside the office, both Klink and Hochstetter were absolutely seething.

"I am _not_ an idiot!"

"And I am _not_ a snowman!"

"How _dare_ they...!" in unison.

"Well, Klink, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to round up everyone and arrest them for treason? Or shall I do the honours?"

Klink hesitated. "Yes, and no..."

"What 'yes and no'?!"

"Well, you see, major, there is the problem of the different universes. Those who wrote these despicable things live in a different universe. I read all about it at the time."

"What time?"

"At the time of Fanfic Court." Klink cleared his throat. "I went to the bookstore there and got myself a copy of a book that told us about what people will know in the future. Different universes and all that. It was fascinating reading."

"Paah! We know everything there is to know, and everything else is not of our concern. But what is my concern is that these criminals out there are laughing at a good German officer's expense. Or maybe not that good an officer in your case," he added under his breath.

Klink looked hurt. "Major, I will have you know that..."

"Forget it, Klink. I know what I'm going to do." And with that, he marched outside and on to the porch.

"You are all under arrest for..."

"We're already in jail!" someone cried.

"You can't arrest us any more than we are," someone else added.

Hochstetter was turning purple at the insults thrown his way. He couldn't get a comprehensible word over his lips, and kept stomping back and forth so fiercely that the prisoners up front were half and half expecting for the porch to collapse.

But there was Newkirk. "Major! I think I have some news that may calm you down a bit. Ladies and gentlemen, the winning story in the Crossover section is...

* * *

**BEST CROSSOVERS**

.

_Gold:_

**UNSCHEDULED LIBERATION OF STALAG 13**  
by Susan M.M.

"Hurray!" everyone shouted.

But Hochstetter just turned even more purple. "Not again!" he growled. "I will call Berlin right away and find out if the war is really supposed to be over. And if it's not..."

"Heads will roll," the crowd cheered.

"Yours first," Newkirk grinned, and turned back to the crowd to announce the rest once the raging Hochstetter had disappeared again inside.

_Silver:_**  
**

**The Violin of Autumn**  
by Glory1863

_and_**  
**

**Wrong Number**  
by Bits and Pieces

.

_Bronze:_

**Bystander**  
by turbomagnus

* * *

"And these complete the results of the crossover jury." Newkirk stepped down again. "Well, where's the slash jury?"


	43. Déjà-Vu et l'Amour

"Baker, there you are! Where have you been? We were looking everywhere for you!"

"Look who's talking," Carter muttered.

But Baker looked thoroughly dumbfounded. "Where have I been? Well, right here. Where else could I have been?"

"You were supposed to fix the speaker system!"

"Why? Is it not working properly?"

"Is it not..." Newkirk gave him a friendly slap over the head. "You must have missed out on half the announcements, mate! Got a secret hide-out with a Fräulein, have you?"

Baker just looked puzzled. "I don't know what you're talking about. I was in the office a moment ago, and the girl was going to announce the winning snapshots, and then I went out and joined you here. Didn't I?" he asked as he saw the disbelief on his friends' faces.

"Not exactly," Carter said. "Most winning stories have already been announced. You really didn't hear that?"

Baker shook his head. But his face turned slightly pensive. "How long have I been away then?" he wanted to know.

Newkirk checked his watch. "At least 45 minutes. So where were you?"

Baker checked his own watch. And compared it to Newkirk's. And Carter's. His was over 50 minutes behind.

"I wasn't anywhere," he said softly. "I just..."

"What?" Carter asked.

"I don't know." Baker shook his head. "Now that I'm thinking about it, I do remember something about slimy lizard monsters. Must have been a dream. But then, how can I have fallen asleep on my feet?"

"And with no one noticing?" Carter added.

Newkirk stared hard at their young radio operator. "Maybe it was something like we had a while back, too. Remember, Carter? When we saw those strange lights. And came back to camp much later than we intended, and all our watches were behind."

Carter frowned. "Now that's what I call a crossover," he said.

"We don't have crossovers anymore - we're at the slash stories." Newkirk pulled the still daydreaming LeBeau the beret over his eyes. "And I know who is going to read those."

"Louis?" Carter's eyes widened. "Why him?"

Newkirk smirked. "Because he's so busy being in love with Miss Houlihan here, that he won't even notice what he's reading." He pressed LeBeau the next paper in his hand and directed him up the porch. "Come on," he mouthed to Katie. "We need you, too. Go stand somewhere where LeBeau can easily see you."

Katie did as she was told, and in the husky voice of a lover, LeBeau announced,

* * *

**BEST SLASH STORY**

.

_Gold:_

**STAFF CAR SEDUCTION**  
by Khylara

.

_Silver:_

**Reunion**  
by BradyGirl_12

_and_

**The Chessmaster Says Checkmate**  
by booey875

_and_

**Warmth**  
by orphan_account

**.**

_Bronze:_

**Plus Jamais le Front**  
by Psychoslasher

_and_

**Storm Clouds Gathering**  
by BradyGirl_12

* * *

"Katie, je t'aime..." With those words, LeBeau ended his recitation, and in front of all his mates, he fell into Katies embrace.

"So." Newkirk said with a satisfied smirk. "That's taken care of. What's next?"

* * *

_(To Be Continued!)_


	44. Riot in the Ranks

"Uh-oh..." Kinch pulled the headphones off his head. "You're not going to like this, sir."

"What?" Hogan took the clipboard from his sergeant, and Kinch watched him closely. At first, Hogan's eyes widened; then a twitch of a smile appeared at his mouth. "I can't believe this!" he exclaimed in semi-mock astonishment. "I thought we were called _Hogan's_ Heroes, and yet these people only grant me _bronze_? Behind that big beef Burkhalter no less? Kinch, I'm hurt!"

"Yeah, well..." Kinch stroked his moustache before continuing in deadpan, "Maybe it should be called _Kinch's Heroes_ from now on?"

"Oh yeah." Hogan shook his head. "That'd go down really well with my Mum and Dad. Ever since that TV show started, they think I'm some kind of hero here, and here you are, taking that aura away from me." He regarded Kinch with a mock disapproving glare. "Riot in the ranks, eh? Honestly, Kinch, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm genuinely shocked at your behaviour. Stabbing me in the back like that, after all we've been through together..."

"What's going on?" suddenly Carter's voice pipeped up from up the tunnel entrance.

Kinch and Hogan looked up at him. "Oh, nothing. Just a little byplay about the results for the Best Portrayal of Canon Characters."

Carter's face brightened. "Oh, that's us, right? So who won?"

Hogan handed him the paper, and waited till Carter's eyes widened, too.

"Well, that takes the pie!"

Kinch guffawed. "New expression, Carter? Or just a logical extension of the old one?"

"What?" Carter thought back to what he had last said. "I don't know. But a result like this really throws a man off, boy. Whoa...! Not that I think you didn't deserve it, but... the Colonel only getting bronze? What are these readers thinking? How could we possibly run this operation without Colonel Hogan? It'd be..."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Carter," Hogan smiled. "But just run this over to the announcers, okay? It's fine, really. I don't mind, and you've got to admit they picked a worthy winner."

"Yeah, but..." Carter got up and left the hut muttering to himself:

* * *

**BEST PORTRAYAL OF CANON CHARACTERS**

.

_Gold:_

**KINCH**  
in  
_Unsung Man, Unsung Hero_  
by Book'em Again

.

_Silver:_

**Burkhalter**  
in  
_Goodbye and Keep Cold_  
by FloatingPizza

.

_Bronze:_

**Hogan **  
in  
_There's No Place Like Stalag 13_  
by Goldleaf83

* * *

Down in the radio room, Hogan laid his hand on Kinch's shoulders. "You deserve it, Kinch. About time you got some real appreciation!"


	45. The Girl of the Week

"Oh, Katie..." LeBeau was still positively swooning over girl's smile, and gazed up at her in absolute worship. "Je t'aime ton sourire... It's like the sun breaking through the clouds on a dark and dreary day, and suddenly everything is bright... Like a sparkling diamond when you open up the jeweller's box... Like the sudden appearance of a regal tiger out of the undergrowth..."

Meghan rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that'll do for the clichés, thank you very much."

Newkirk grinned. "You don't know what you've got coming next. It's the best portrayal of canon extras - and practically all the nominees were females!"

Meghan bristled. "Who nominated those? You guys just think of one thing, don't you, when you see a woman."

"I wouldn't say that," Carter placated her.

"Maybe _you_ don't," Meghan granted him. "But these two are always after any Underground girls they set eyes on. _And_ Colonel Hogan. The phenomenon even got a name: _the Girl of the Week_."

Newkirk snickered. "The Girl of the Week, eh? Every week another girl? I'm in favour of that! There're some pretty cute birds in the Underground here, and you got to admit, there is a terrible scarcity of girls here in the camp."

And there was Baker back with the next results.

"And? Did the girls win?" Expertly, Newkirk filched the paper from him. "Oh, Meghan, you're gonna love this. Pretty girls all around! At least the one male in there does us proud. Here, you better go up on the porch and tell everyone."

Meghan gave him a glare and glanced down at the blue note. "Well, at least those girls are not exactly the dumb blonde type," she huffed, and then she stepped onto the porch.

And Carter sniggered. "The dumb blonde type... Is that how they categorize girls in the future?"

"Well, it's one way, I guess," Newkirk agreed. "If you care for the colour more than the size. Personally, I prefer our size chart!"

But up on the porch, Meghan had gotten the crowd to calm down, and announced,

* * *

**BEST PORTRAYAL OF CANON EXTRAS**

.

_Gold:_

**TIGER **  
in  
_The Violins of Autumn_  
by Belphegor

.

_Silver:_

**Hercules / Ned**  
in  
_Fear of Falling_  
by dust on the wind

.

_Bronze:_

**Marlene Schneider von Heffernick**  
in  
_A Honeymoon in Paris_  
by dust on the wind

* * *

"I never knew that old flame of Klink's merited a story of her own," Carter said. "What did she do?"

"Dunno." Newkirk shrugged. "All we know is that she went on a honeymoon to Paris."

"Do you think she was with us then after all?"

"It must have been something. Or who knows, maybe it's just a drooling romance story about her wedding night with that Gestapo count."

"I think the authors would rather write about the Colonel and Tiger when they want to write romance," Carter thought. "So who knows what this author set her up to..." His eyes gleamed. "Maybe she married that old Gestapo Kraut out of vice, and put some deadly poison in his tea the moment they arrived in Paris! Now that would be some story!"

Newkirk shook his head. "You're barmy, mate."


	46. To the Dogs

Before Meghan had gotten off the porch again, suddenly pandemonium broke out. Guards nor prisoners never knew how it happened (the dogs sure did of course), but 'someone' had opened the dog pen and suddenly the compound was flooded with vicious guard dogs!

The crowd of eager prisoners scattered in a panic as the dogs set off after them, and Meghan did the only sensible thing to do: she fled into the office. Major Hochstetter and Kommandant Klink were definitely better than a rabid bunch of German and Belgian shepherd dogs... or at least she hoped they were.

"LeBeau!" Newkirk cried from up the drainpipe off Klink's roof. "Get those dogs away, will you? I don't want to end up as their supper!"

The onslaught of canines had certainly brought LeBeau back to earth a little bit. As soon as there were no more guards in sight, he knelt down by Friedrich and Bismarck and asked in French, "Hey, sweetie, what's up? What are you doing out of the kennel?"

An eager barking duet was his reply, and soon the other dogs joined forces with them and LeBeau was surrounded by the dogs, all barking fervently.

"Oh, so that's the problem! You know, I think you boys and girls have become spoilt! All that attention and awards these past years...! That's not good for you, you know! But let's see what the outcome is. But even if you don't win anything, you'll have to learn to take it as a... as a dog. You can't win them all."

That got another fierce barking concert, and LeBeau shrugged. "Well, that's not up to me. Anyone who likes Hogan's Heroes could vote. It depends on what everyone thought - not just us. We know how important you boys and girls are, even if you don't win any awards."

Suddenly, the compound turned eerily quiet, save for one sound: the menacing growl from two dozen canine throats...

"It's a bloody case of '_Vote for me or I'll bite!_'" Newkirk observed from up his drainpipe.

"Do you think it's safe to come down yet?" Carter piped up. "Someone still has to run over to go and collect the note from Kinch and the Colonel."

"We'll let LeBeau take care of that," Newkirk decided. And at full volume, "Hey, LeBeau! Go and fetch the new winners, will you? The sooner we end this stalemate, the better, or we're going to have to fix Klink's drainpipe next. And me," he finished in a mutter.

"Alright, alright." LeBeau marched over to the barracks, with the dogs at his heels. (Luckily, the guards had fled too far away to notice the oddity of the Dogcatcher of Hamelburg.) "Now stay here, boys and girls. You know you are not allowed to enter the tunnel here."

Another collective growl was his reply, but he managed to shut the door on their snouts. Immediately, the dogs were scratching at the door, and LeBeau - fearing they might manage to get that open as quickly as the dog pen - quickly jumped down the ladder. "Quick! The next results!" he breathed.

Colonel Hogan raised an eyebrow. "Why - what's the rush?"

"I've got some twenty guard dogs on my heels!"

"What?"

"Never mind." LeBeau grabbed the paper out of Kinch's hands and quickly scanned it. "Bonté divine, we're saved..." With that, he clambered back up again and opened the barracks' door.

"Woof?" came Wolfgang's threatening inquiry.

"Yes." LeBeau waved the paper in front of him. "You boys and girls can relax - you won something."

"Woof woof - woof!"

The dogs wouldn't let him past though, so LeBeau figured it was safer to announce the winners to them here and now.

* * *

**BEST PORTRAYAL OF ORIGINAL CHARACTERS**

.

_Gold:_**  
**

**John Hogan **  
in  
_Unto Us &amp; Dead Men Tell No Tales_  
by Goldleaf83

(a threatening, bodeful growl...)

.

_Silver:_

**Jürgen **  
in  
_A Bridge Too Near_  
by Sgt. Moffitt

(an even more minacious and ominous snarl...)

.

_Bronze:_

**Blümchen**  
in  
_Keeping up Appearances_  
by Snooky-9093

* * *

And finally, there was the release! Many of the dogs happily started dancing around, playfully snapping at each other's wagging tails. Others however, put their proud tail behind their legs.

"Bronze... is that all we merit?" Bismarck grouched.

"Yeah... where is the time when we were considered the best story of the year?" Gerda pined.

But LeBeau merely shrugged. "Like I said - you can't win them all. Of course you dogs are important for the operation, you really are. We couldn't do it without you. But you're not the _only_ ones, understood? Now can I please get back to the office so the winners here can be announced to everyone?"


	47. Down the Drainpipe

"Did you get it?" Newkirk asked. He was still hanging on to the top of the drainpipe off Klink's roof.

"Sure. You can come down now. It's your turn anyway to go and fetch the new results. Katie and Meghan can do the announcements."

Newkirk grunted. "Are you sure the dogs won't go after me anymore?"

"Of course not. They've won something - they're satisfied." LeBeau looked around. "Where is mon ange Katie?"

"No idea." Newkirk began to slide down the drainpipe. Or so he thought. "Ouch... Hey!"

"What?" Carter, already down off the roof, looked up. "What are you doing?"

"I'm stuck - what do you think I'm doing?" Newkirk pulled at his sweater. It had gotten stuck at the top of the drainpipe, and it looked like Newkirk had to climb back up in order to get it loose.

"Blimey," he muttered, as Katie went up the porch to read the winners in the category of the best original characters.

"Are you okay, Newkirk?" Carter called from below.

"Yeah..." Carefully, Newkirk hoisted himself up again a bit and looked at the damage. The rim of his blue sweater had gotten stuck. He clutched his knees a bit tighter on the drainpipe, leaned one arm on the gutter for balance and began to pry the woollen sweater off the protruding hook.

It was stuck worse than he thought. Even Newkirk's magic fingers had trouble untangling the wool from the the hook without tearing the entire sweater apart.

"Hey, Carter," he called at last. "Come on up here and give me a hand, will you?"

Carter already started climbing up the beam of the porch.

"Why don't you try and cut yourself loose?" LeBeau called out from below. "You got that knife on you, don't you?"

"Are you daft?" Newkirk scoffed. "This is my only sweater! What am I supposed to wear under my jacket if I rip up this one, eh?"

"Well, you still have that striped nightshirt," came Carter's voice from nearby. He hoisted himself up on the roof. "So what's the problem - are you still stuck?"

"No, what do you think I'm doing here - feeding the ruddy birds?"

Carter knelt down beside him. "Shall I have a go?"

"No. I just want you to make sure that I don't..."

He never finished the sentence. Giving a particularly fierce yank at the hem of his sweater, suddenly the drainpipe collapsed and before Carter could react, Newkirk lay sprawled on the ground half naked, with most of his blue sweater still stuck up the drainpipe.

"Newkirk!" Half the camp came running towards him, but Newkirk was already pushing himself up and shook his head to clear it. "Cor blimey," he swore.

"Are you alright?" Carter called from the roof.

"Yeah. I think so." He flexed his arms and feet, and decided to get up. LeBeau and Baker were instantly at his side to prop him up.

"Hey, I'm no bloody invalid, okay?" he protested.

"We just want to make sure you're alright!" LeBeau insisted.

"Well, at least I'm not bleeding, am I?" Newkirk looked up the roof. "Hey mate, you think you can get that sweater off now?"

Carter was already working on it. It was more a salvage operation than anything else - even from a distance it was obvious that the sweater had been torn into two. "Don't you worry, buddy," he said. "I'll have this thing off in a moment. Although I'm not sure it's still very useful. Maybe you should just pull out the thread and knit it anew."

Newkirk stared at him with his jaw dropped. "Knitting? Me?! I wouldn't be caught dead doing that - that's women's stuff!"

"Why?" Carter inquired. He was still working on loosening the sweater. "You're a tailor, aren't you?"

"Yes, but that's different!"

"No, it's not."

"I bet you he can't knit," Baker piped up with a hint of gloat in his voice.

Newkirk turned to him. "And what if I can't?"

"Oh, that wouldn't be a problem, Newkirk," Carter assured him from up the roof. "I'd be happy to teach you."

Newkirk scowled. "Sounds like we're going to have a bloody sewing bee in the barracks..."

"But first...!" Goldman stepped up. "I took the liberty of collecting the next results of the Papa Bear Awards: the Visiting Crossover Characters. And the winner is..."

"No, we want the girls!" LeBeau insisted.

"Okay, okay." Goldman looked around and located Meghan. "Here. You read it."

Meghan accepted the paper from him. "The gold winner in the Visiting Crossover Category is..."

* * *

**BEST PORTRAYAL OF VISITING CROSSOVER CHARACTERS**

.

_Gold:_

**Bill &amp; Ted**  
in  
_Wrong Number_  
by Bits and Pieces

.

_Silver:_

**Lt. Columbo**  
in  
_Alien Nightmare, part II: The Return_  
by 80sarcades

* * *

She looked up. And flushed a crimson red. "Oh my..."

And fainted.


	48. Real Men Shave Their Chest

Immediately, a few hundred prisoners crowded around the fallen announcing lady, and Wilson had serious trouble fighting his way through.

"Doc coming through! Doc coming through! Make way for the doc!" he kept shouting as he pushed his way forward.

But actually, by the time he got to the centre of the inaction, he found Meghan already opening her eyes and sitting up. "Where am I?" she murmured. "Where is he?"

"He who?" Wilson asked as he knelt down beside her.

"Newkirk..." Meghan drooled. "Oh, _Newkirk_...!"

"Newkirk!" someone behind Wilson called out. "The lady is asking for you!"

It took the Brit only a moment to push through the crowd (where the more polite Wilson had taken at least a minute), but the effect was not quite what anyone had hoped for.

"Newkirk...!" Meghan faintly cried - and then she fainted again.

Newkirk glanced at their medic. "What's wrong with her then?"

Wilson shrugged. "Seems to me she's fainting as soon as she sets eyes on you."

"Well, bloody charming! What's wrong with me then?"

"Maybe it's your bare barrel chest," Katie teased. "She always had a bit of a crush on you, but to see you with all that chest hair..."

Newkirk glanced down. "What's wrong with my chest hair?"

Katie shrugged. "Must have shocked her. Alienated her. In our days, the real sexy men shave their chest."

There was a collective drop of jaws.

"Shave their chest?" LeBeau stammered. "Mon Dieu - why?"

Another shrug. "I don't know. Why do women wear corsets in your day?"

"Because it makes them look pretty." Newkirk shook his head.

"Exactly. And in our day, women consider men with shaved chests handsome and sexy. What's the difference?"

Initially, her announcement was greeted by silence. Until LeBeau sighed, "Boy, I do hope I won't live till a hundred..."

"And you better get dressed," Wilson admonished Newkirk. "I don't think it's a good idea to have her fainting three times in five minutes."

"But my sweater is still up the drainpipe!" Newkirk protested.

"No, it's not." Carter just unhooked the last thread from the hook, and threw the sweater down to his friend.

Newkirk caught it, and inspected it. Their was a gigantic tear all the way from the collar to the hem. "A fat lot of good that's going to do me," he muttered.

"Just put it on, or get out of sight," Wilson ordered. "And perhaps if we can get some distraction going to divert her thoughts?" He slapped Meghan's cheeks, and tried to get her to drink some water.

"Here - I've got the results for the next category in the Papa Bear Awards." Baker pushed forwards and handed the blue note to Katie.

"Read it," Wilson ordered. "Perhaps that will distract her."

* * *

**BEST TEASERS**

.

_Gold:_

**Is it a bell? Is it a weapon? Is it a medical instrument? No, it's... what did you call that thing?!**  
_Story: The Eierschalensollbruchstellenverursacher  
Author: konarciq_

.

_Silver:_

**There must have been some magic in that old Gestapo touch...**  
_Story: Hochsty the Snowman  
Author: konarciq_

.

_Bronze:_

**It can happen to anybody. Unfortunately.**  
_Story: Forbidden Love  
Author: SamRosinenbomber_

* * *

But Meghan just groaned. "Not that unpronounceable monstrosity again..."

"Well, that's the curse if you like _Hogan's Heroes_, luv - you can't enjoy our adventures without picking up a little German on the side." Newkirk had put on what was left of his sweater, and now pulled the lady to her feet. He even put a supportive arm around her waist. "But that monstrosity of a word is more for the advanced learners. We can start a bit easier, for example with, 'Achtung'. That means 'good morning', in case you hadn't picked that up yet..."


	49. Almost There

Things were finally beginning to calm down again. At least, we hope that it did so in Klink's office as well - it had been suspiciously quiet from that corner for quite a while.

But, as it was, LeBeau soon came over with the results of the next category. Of course he had only eyes for Katie, so that's where the list ended up. And with her French admirer at her feet, Katie announced the winners in the category for the best quotes.

* * *

**BEST QUOTES**

.

_Gold:_

**"Are you always this infuriating?"**  
**"Oh no, sir. Sometimes I'm asleep."**  
_Said by: Klink and Hogan_  
_Story: Let's Not Tell Anyone about This_  
_Author: SamRosinenbomber_

.

_Silver:_

**"Sir, are you thinking what I think you're thinking?"**  
**"That's exactly what I'm thinking."**  
**"Great. Would you care to inform the rest of us?"**  
_Said by: Newkirk, Hogan and LeBeau_  
_Story: Unsung Man, Unsung Hero_  
_Author: Book'em Again_

.

_Bronze:_

**"Friends are like balloons.**  
**When they get too full of themselves, there's nothing like a successful prank to let out some air**  
**and bring them back down to earth."**  
_Said by: Carter_  
_Story: Postscript to a Dear John Letter_  
_Author: Book'em Again_

and

**"Got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, if you ask me."**  
**"Well, Newkirk, I can't see how that's possible. The other side is the wall."**  
_Said by: Newkirk and Carter_  
_Story: Mirror, Mirror on the Wall_  
_Author: Snooky-9093_

and

**It was 2355 on a winter night in Germany (for it was always winter, except when it was not).**  
_Said by: narrator_  
_Story: According to Plan_  
_Author: Fortune Maiden_

and

**"You're out of regulation, Corporal. And out of fashion. Shave off those sideburns."**  
_Said by: Hogan_  
_Story: Mirror, Mirror on the Wall_  
_Author: Snooky-9093_

* * *

The winning quotes were greeted with cheers and laughter.

"We must be about through, aren't we?" Katie asked Baker as she stepped off the porch again.

But Baker shook his head. "Uh-uh. The most important category is still to come: the Best Story of the Year. I guess it's coming in right now on the radio."

At that moment, a huge shadow encrouched on Stalag 13...

* * *

_Author's note: rullo di tamburi... tomorrow will be the finalissima, when *finally* the winners of the Best Story of 2014 will be announced. Make sure you don't miss the announcement!_


	50. Crittendon to the Rescue

Hogan and Kinch came striding out of the barracks with a big grin on their faces - that froze the moment they stepped outside.

"What the heck...?" Hogan started. And Kinch just stared.

Everyone in the compound was staring up in the sky. Even Colonel Klink and major Hochstetter had come out of the office at the eerie silence and stood now on the porch, looking up at the sky. A darkened sky, for the sunlight was entirely blocked by... a giant zeppelin?!

The thing was ginormous, and it seemed to be... landing...

Hogan was the first to find his voice again. "Everyone - get to the fringes of the camp. _Now_!"

Prisoners and guards and everyone scattered immediately - not in the least because the monstrosity seemed to be coming down right in the compound. Bigger and bigger the ominous shadow got as it slowly manoeuvered itself into the open space in the center of the camp. Until at last, it touched the ground, skidded a little, and came to a halt with its nose pointing in the direction of the gate.

Everyone stood and gaped at it, until a door opened and an all too familiar figure appeared at the top of a short flight of steps. "Hello, chaps!"

Putting on his cap at a slight angle and throwing his white scarf over his shoulder with flourish, Crittendon descended the steps ramrod straight and stepped into the compound in a deadly silence.

The silence didn't seem to bother him though. He quickly picked out Hogan in the crowd and marched forward to greet him. "Hogan, old boy, how are you doing? How do you like my new mode of transport? Jolly good show, eh?"

Hogan just gave him a stoic stare. "What are you doing here?"

The question was immediately echoed in two variations. "Hogan, what is this man doing here?" And, "Hogan, what is this zeppelin doing here?"

Hogan faced his jailor and the Gestapoman squarely. "I have no idea, sir. Why don't you ask our beloved Colonel Crittendon?"

"Group Captain actually," Crittendon corrected him, but no one paid any attention to his remark.

"Well?" Klink insisted.

Crittendon faced him and threw off one of his overperfect vibrating salutes. "Kommandant Klink, if I'm not mistaken? And who might this fellow be? Care to introduce me, Hogan?"

"With pleasure," Hogan grunted. "Colonel Crittendon - this is major Hochstetter from the Gestapo. Major Hochstetter - Colonel Crittendon."

"Group Captain actually," Crittendon repeated, but then he flicked his own riding crop against his cheek. "The Gestapo, eh? Nasty lot, aren't you."

Hochstetter was already approaching boiling point again, but Klink forestalled him. "Colonel Crittendon, what are you doing here? I thought we sent you off to some other Stalag."

"So you did! But I escaped!" Crittendon puffed out his chest. "As you know, it is the duty of every officer to escape. And after many failed attempts, I finally made it back to jolly old England. But when I heard about the time travellers in your Stalag, I couldn't help but wanting to check them out! So I volunteered to deliver the watch."

"In a zeppelin." The sarcasm dripped from Hogan's words.

"Yes. Jolly good show, eh? They couldn't spare a plane for me, with all the scheduled bombing raids and all, so I thought, why not take the good old zeppelin?"

"And did you bring the watch?"

"What watch?" Klink interrupted, and Hochstetter leaned closer, too.

"Yes, the Gestapo would be very interested in any watch of Colonel Crittendon's," he sneered.

At a nod from Hogan, Kinch had sneaked off to find Katie and Meghan, and now he returned with them both.

"Ah, there are your time travellers, Hogan. My, they are certainly pretty, aren't they!"

Hochstetter reacted immediately. "Time travellers?!" He took a step forward, but Hogan blocked the way.

"Yes, and they're going home straight away."

"But we don't know yet which stories were chosen as the best of the year!" Katie protested.

"Okay, quick then. Kinch?"

Kinch fished the blue note out of his pocket and announced,

* * *

**BEST STORY OF 2014!**

.

_Gold:_

**UNSUNG MAN, UNSUNG HERO**  
by Book'em Again

.

_Silver:_

**The King's Speech**  
by Belphegor

.

_Bronze:_

**There's No Place Like Stalag 13**  
by Goldleaf83

* * *

There was a solid round of applause, and in the mayhem, Hogan quickly pushed Katie and Meghan towards the zeppelin. "Crittendon!" he called for the British officer to follow.

"Yes, Hogan. What are we going to do?"

Hogan pushed the girls into the zeppelin. "You are going to take this zeppelin out of here, and let the girls use the watch once you're up in the air. And no detours - you two are going to go straight home, understood?"

"Yes sir," the girls said quietly.

"And thanks for everything," Meghan added.

For once, Crittendon was quick on the uptake. He jumped into the zeppelin, closed the door, and within seconds, the motors started, causing everyone in the compound to back away again.

That is, everyone except Hochstetter. He had taken out his gun, and aimed it at the slowly rising superstructure.

"No, don't!" Klink yelped as he grabbed Hochstetter's arm.

"Klink, get out of my way! You're obstructing the war effort again!"

"But major, do you really want to capture Colonel Crittendon? The man is a walking disaster!"

Slowly, Hochstetter lowered his gun. An evil smile crept over his face. "You know, Klink, for once I believe you are right. If we already have to deal with you on our side, why should we take Crittendon off their hands?"

* * *

_Author's note:_

_._

_Well, that's all for now, folks!_  
_Congratulations to all the winners, as well as to all the nominees who put up such a good fight.  
If you didn't win anything, but would like to know how your nominated work did,  
feel free to drop a line to me (konarciq) via PM or mail, and I'll give you your personal results.  
_

_._

_But first a solid round of applause for Steffiundaxel,_  
_who did a great job on the double checking!_

_**Thank you for a terrific job, Steffi!**_

_._

_A great thank you, too, to everyone who sent in their nominations and their votes – without you guys, there wouldn't be a PBA!_  
_And it's great to see so much enthusiasm, year after year after year,_  
_and every time with new people joining in!_

_Another great thank you to Sgt. Moffitt, Belphegor, Snooky-9093 and EveningInHornersCorners,_  
_and reserve crew Fortune Maiden,_  
_who made this fun competition possible this year with their invaluable assistance._

_And also a round of applause already for the members of the PBA committee:_  
_**Book'em Again, Sgt. Moffitt and Snooky-9093**_  
_It's been fairly quiet on the PBA front this year,_  
_but you were there whenever I needed a soundboard!_

_._

_Then an important request:_  
**Can all the winners please report by email to papabearawards at yahoo dotcom**  
_in order to get their award(s) sent out?_  
_They will be designed this year by Belphegor,_  
_and we all know how creative she is in her story avatars!_

_._

_The winning stories (gold, silver and bronze!) will shortly be included in the ffnet community with the PBA winners from the past years._

_They will some time in the foreseeable future be listed on the PBA website as well, but I can't promise you when I'll get around to do that ;-)  
(I still need to do that for last year's winners as well...)  
_

* * *

_._

_So now we're back to happily reading. And writing._

_Thank you all for your infectious enthusiasm, and I hope to see your new stories, nominations and votes again next time around!_

_._

_Your librarian,_

_konarciq_  
_(who would like to take the opportunity to thank everyone who voted for her work!)_


End file.
